Doubt

A friend can plant a seed of doubt or eliminate it.  Doubt is normal when we walk through difficult decisions.  For women it is even normal to doubt ourselves in daily choices...getting my hair done or buying a new pair of shoes causes me to call my girlfriend and see what she thinks.  We want affirmation from others on whether we have made a good decision. I imagine men look for that same confirmation in their friendships as well.

Doubt is just fear standing in the way of the decision moving you forward.  If I spend my time second guessing whether I should have gone through with the divorce, whether I should have had a different attorney, or whether I should have agreed to other terms, then, I am reliving those moments over and over again, and I lack the clarity and sureness to make decisions for my present situation.   I begin losing self-confidence at whether I can make a good decision at all.   

Choosing advice wisely will help eliminate doubt in the future.  Did you confide in a friend throughout the process of your divorce who was sure they had all the answers and often coached you on what to do next?  Maybe they had been through a divorce and their intentions seemed good, but they were coaching you though tainted glass.  Or, did you have a friend who listened to all the drama that unfolded during your separation and heard you share your deepest hurts and then replied, “I know you will do the right thing, and I am here if you need me?”  Possibly, they even prayed with you and led you to some great resources for help and encouragement.  The first friend planted seeds of doubt by telling you what to do.  And now, you second guess those decisions because they were not your own ideas.  The second friend eliminated doubt because they were helping you to heal by listening and by leading you to some credible resources.  No matter which one you can relate to, cut yourself a little slack today.  We have all doubted the process we chose and the choices we made at some point along this path to divorce. God's providential will allows us to choose, and His desire is for our healing and blessing. 

The good news is that when you begin living in the promise of Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”  then your doubt will be replaced with faith which removes fear from your choices.  You are making good decisions. You are reading this book and on the path that leads to self-confidence and healing. James 1:6 tells us that doubt causes us to be like a wave of the sea tossed and blown back and forth by the wind.  Do you feel angry one minute and just want your spouse to pay a price for the hurt you feel and then the next moment you just want to be in his arms and feel the pain go away?  You want your marriage back the way it was when things were good. That's not too much to ask. You find yourself saying, "What have I done?”  That feeling is doubt.  Your past does not have to determine your future unless you allow it to.  Beyond doubt there is clarity, and clarity will come when you give yourself the "benefit of the doubt" this time and allow the Spirit of God to help you make decisions from this point on.

Devastation

Can you remember a time in your life where you experienced “shock?”  You stood completely still unable to breathe or move for what seemed like years, and you’re not exactly sure what just happened.  I clearly remember like it was yesterday...standing in my kitchen and receiving a phone call from my mother to turn on the news. I was preparing a snack for my toddler and a little annoyed by my mothers’ constant concern for the matters of the world that didn’t seem to relate to me, but I flipped on the television. Within seconds, I stood mesmerized as I watched the devastating events of September 11^th 2001 unfold before my eyes. I couldn’t cry, scream or even speak. I just held my breath, many times, as the reporters continued to relay the footage over and over again of the twin towers collapsing in New York City.  This was real.  It was not a joke, and nationwide devastation was the end result. 

I was separated from my husband at the time and my firstborn daughter was at preschool. For a brief moment I became frantic and wanted to immediately be reunited with my daughter and hold my babies close.  My husband called from work to see if I had been watching the news and to check on me. Many others did the same all over America because when devastation hits...time stands still, and only love is on our hearts. No one in the world matters but the people you love the most. I was devastated by what I had witnessed, and being separated from my husband I felt very much alone. 

The aftermath of a divorce can sometimes look like ground 0. There is no recognition of what used to be, and at first you are shocked and hold your breath. Then, you frantically rummage to find remnants to salvage, you scream, cry and begin the process of grieving your loss. Psalm 46:1,2 reminds us that God is our refuge and strength a very present help in time of trouble. We do not have to fear even if the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the sea.   

You may be looking at ground 0 right now not even knowing where to begin or how you will survive. Those who love you and often even strangers around you will begin to help you clean up the mess and rebuild your heart. Talk about the pain as much as you need to, weep as often as it flows from you, allow others to help you, and remember that it won’t last forever. We are promised in Psalm 30:5 that even though weeping may remain for a night, joy comes in the morning. You may not forget the devastation of your marriage, but you will be able to rebuild a beautiful life in its place.

All "Jacked Up"

"Jacked Up! was a segment of the half-time show of Monday Night Football on ESPN. Hosted by Tom Jackson, the feature aired from 2003 to 2006. Every Monday night, the show would highlight the five hardest hits of the prior week in the NFL. ..." (From Wikipedia) Here are a few other definitions: Under the influence of stimulants; high; Wrecked; damaged; ruined; injured; Reprehensible; ...When something is just really wrong. No rhyme, no reason.

My 9 year old daughter picked up this term at school a few days ago and she has been trying to fit it in many of her sentences.  I laugh as I hear her describe a "jacked up" phone, "jacked up ipod", her leg "jacked up" from basketball, and they funniest ones are when she wants to use the term to describe my ideas or someones' behavior. When she is exploring vocabulary I usually let her work through it to comprehend its' meaning, but this time I  helped a little...explaining that she may not want "jacked up" to be a regular part of her describing vocabulary...lol...and I gave her some alternate choices. 

Thinking on this topic though,  how many times in life do you feel all "jacked up?" Is it possible that you are dealing with addictions in your life that leave you a wreck every weekend, or even make it difficult for you to get through a work week?  Separation, divorce and broken relationships can leave us feeling "jacked up" for sure.  There seem to be no answers when we are going through difficult times.  We are left speechless and feeling like life is just "too hard" to handles.  Death, especially sudden death,  tragedy, and unexplained illness leave so many people feeling like they have no hope, no control, and there really is no rhyme or reason to what is happening to them. Is there an answer? 

Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

The first remedy would be to release our worry.  It only adds to your emotional pain. And the second would be to hand the worry to God.  He sends the Spirit of God to your rescue. 

Romans 8:26 says, "... the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

If we follow these two steps when we are feeling all "jacked up" the easier it is to pass through the "hell" we are experiencing and on to hope and blessings of abundance and brighter days ahead.  I love Rodney Atkins song,  If your going through  hell keep on moving....because Satan feeds on "jacked up" lives.  If you move quickly through it...He might not even know you were there! The good news is there ARE angels out there to help you get back up on the feet you're dragging!

Filter- Clogged with Selfishness

A filter  can be defined as a porous device for removing impurities or solid particles from a liquid or gas passed through it. Or, basically a filter blocks impurities from passing or entering another object. It gives you the good and leaves the yuk behind.  I make jokes with my friends, sometimes, indicating that they have no filter when they speak.  A great deal of this has to do with personality styles... whether you are an introvert or extrovert, or your ability to process your thoughts before you say something. We all  have, undoubtedly, spoken words too quickly and wished we could retrieve them.  I suppose that is when the words "I'm sorry" are ever important.  But, what if everything we do revolves around us?

(Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Psalm 119:36)

When I make a decision about what groceries to buy or what to prepare for dinner...it often depends on what I want to eat or what sounds good to me. When I turn on the television...I put the channel on what I want to watch.  As I pay the bills, I decide where the money is spent. When the girls tell me what they want to do...the outcome is often determined by how I feel.  Do you see a common thread in these examples?  They are all centered on me.  Each one is filtered through my own need or desire.  Everything we think about, act on or verbalize to others goes through our mind and heart filter.  These are the values and morals you have been taught that you now adopt as your own or a lifestyle you have chosen to live.  For some people these ideas are a strict set of religious beliefs, others a relationship with the Heavenly Father that motivates them to bring Him glory by their life, and yet others a free spirit where anything that feels good is fair game.  There is a common thread in everyone.   No matter how our heart and mind has been influenced...we are selfish by nature...and our hearts and minds often get clogged by this impurity.  

The best remedy I can think of is routine cleaning....just like any furnace filter, coffee filter, oil filter, vacuum filter...all need cleaned and in some cases replaced.  Some stay clean longer than others.  This depends on what has to pass through it.  I think you get the picture don't you?  What you put in your mind must come out in some form or another.  In order to become more selfless...spend time filling your mind with good information.  Be a student of learning all the time.  The more you fill your mind with uplifting and encouraging words...the more you will pour them out to others.  It is definitely true...the more you know the more you grow.  I came across this list of "top acts of selfishness." I could think of a few more  things to add to the list, but these were thought provoking.  When I am focused on me and how others and life circumstances treat me...the more I live in a "want" or "lack of" mentality.  The opposite is also true...the more I focus on others and what my life can do for them...the more I live in a life of "more than enough" and "abundant mentality."  When my heart and mind filter is flushed clean...the purer my actions become. If you think your "filter" is clogged with selfishness...there is always time to clean it out or get a new one!

Peacekeeper or Peacemaker?

My middle school daughter comes home from school and often shares about her friends, teachers and sports.  So, in the course of our conversation last night about a conflict with a family member I announce that our goal should just be to keep the peace at all cost. My daughter interrupts with this dialogue:  "You know mom, my teacher says it's better to be a peacemaker than a peacekeeper."  Me: "And, what exactly is the difference?"  Daughter: "Well, a peacekeeper avoids conflict at all cost...even takes the blame if necessary.  A peacemaker looks for a solution to resolve the conflict.  I think you are a peacekeeper, mom, and you need to be a peacemaker."  Then she gave me several examples to think on.  Ok, then....now how about that for some constructive criticism!  So glad my daughter is learning in school, but does she really need to apply it to me? (Haha)  I had to agree....I tend to keep peace rather than to make peace. Since everyone was a part of the conversation, we brainstormed some ways to be peacemakers with their father, with each other and with friends.  What a cool teachable moment for mom. Thank you to Mr. Mull, the girls' Bible teacher, for his excellent examples and fun way of teaching values to take home!

Being a peacekeeper is a temporary fix.  Once the lid is removed all hell breaks loose again. If you follow politics you can see some patterns of peacekeeping versus peacemaking with how our troops are directed in other countries.  Once the "peacekeeping" boundaries are crossed...people die....We have had presidents who are really good at peacekeeping and only a few who grasped the idea of peacemaking.  Peacemaking is confrontational and therefore many do not like the concept.  I admit that I would much rather go around loving everyone and telling them how much God loves them rather then, to confront others with areas of their life that need God's healing touch.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think a peacemaker is judgmental.  I think they are willing to say the "hard stuff"...the things people need to hear but don't want to hear....the real truth of the matter...no sugar coating.  Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the  peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God." It's what we are called to do. True peace stops fighting and replaces it with harmony.  It just doesn't avoid conflict for a temporary time. Being a peacemaker should not be confused for living a life of peace. Finding a life of peace is a struggle for all of us...That's the idea that even in the midst of conflict my soul is at rest.  But, as far as being a peacemaker goes...I know I am guilty of my efforts to "keep the peace" , but thanks to a great teacher and loving daughter...I'm going to concentrate my efforts from now on to "making peace"....even if it means facing conflict head on!

Timing...Live While You Wait

Crazy people wait in line for tickets to their favorite concert, or they camp out before stores open for early Holiday sales...yeah, I admit to have been a "crazy line waiter" before...not anymore, but Starbucks coffee will get my patience these days!  We don't mind waiting for things that fill a void, but ask us to wait day to day...I don't think so!  There is a reason why we wait: babies need nine months to fully develop in a mother's womb...children are intended to come after marriage in order to have a mother and father raise them...titles such as Doctorate and PhD come after many years of education since there is so much knowledge to master... our laws put age requirements on driving, consuming alcohol and even voting until a person reaches an age of responsibility in that area...we wait in lines and offices so others can efficiently do their job....we actually spend a great deal of our life "waiting."

We don't always get to do what we want to do right now or have what we want instantly....because it may not be available, or it may not be ready for us. Waiting is not wasted time...don't make yourself crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later!  When we force our will, it can  cause unnecessary hardships on ourselves and others. Success comes with a little persistence and a lot of patience. Your time won't be wasted because all that needs to be orchestrated is at work. When you are ready to grasp that concept you will become more patient!

I remember praying for more than 10 years of my childhood for my father to accept Jesus as His Savior...only to wait for it to happen just months before his death. Those years taught me how to pray and never lose hope. I know a family who waited 15 years to have a child. When they answered the call to short term missions....they eventually brought home a 15 year old son....who now runs his father's business...their prayers were preparing him all his life...he wasn't ready and neither were they years prior.  I've watched couples fall in love in months while some wait a lifetime to find a partner.  But when you hear their stories of life and circumstances...it all boils down to timing. You can have the desires of your heart if you're patient.  Don't let your frustration get in the way. You don't want to be in a relationship until you both are ready to give it your all.  You don't need a child until you are ready to be a parent.  You may not even need a new job...you just might need a new perspective.  My whole point here is that "waiting" is a gift of time.  Learn to wait and live while you wait. 

I learn so much about people when I am put to the waiting test.  I just had to wait in line at the bowling alley last night...only to be sent away and told to come back later...the time spent waiting was filled with more fun than I've had in a long time...full of joy...and then when we went back...we waited for what seemed like forever only to be sent away again because the lanes were all taken.  We ended up at a different bowling alley which was perfect...better than the crowded place we first visited!  At the first or even second rejection we could have gone home disappointed that our wonderful plan of an evening didn't work as we had hoped, but instead we "lived" while we waited...a fabulous dinner at a fun restaurant and window shopping at the mall...I know that is a simple minded example, but waiting is a fact of life.  You have to wait every day. The sooner you find the blessing in the "wait"...the sooner you will realize that God's timing is always better than your own!

Release Your Grip

I have been debating with myself on whether to tackle this topic or not...My bold side won!  I giggle every time I turn to Proverbs Chapter 21. My favorite is verse 9, "It's better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home."  Alright, you laughed out loud, but do you struggle in your home...arguing all the time with your husband? Does he spend all his time in the garage, the yard, the basement or on the computer with earphones on? Well, let's back up...you know a quarrelsome woman, right? Webster gives these synonyms: aggressive, confrontational, feisty, contentious, argumentative...ouch, I resemble a few of these. But, you know her, right? She is always correcting, nagging, pushing, complaining, talking too much, always right...never shuts up. No wonder the man is always away from home. He goes to the "corner of the attic" if you will...for a place of peace. 

The woman who was created for man's pleasure now becomes his greatest irritation.  His best friend is now his enemy. She is no longer his lover and he is indifferent toward her. Wow, this puts a spin on personal responsibility to your marriage.  Now, before you get too upset and say, "that's not what led to the tension in my marriage"....I hear you loud and clear.  Being divorced myself , sometimes life's greatest lessons come in life's toughest struggles.  There truly are many more reasons to the breakdown in communication besides a "quarrelsome woman." However, I think in today's culture, women have been given more and more responsibility and authority where male leadership is lacking.  Because of this I believe our ability to lead, organize, learn, multitask and make decisions can sometimes overpower our homes.  Our man definitely needs us to be strong in all these areas, but we don't have to drive him crazy...well, only in a good way!  Make a decision to stop nit-picking and you just might find your love again!

We were created to be man's greatest treasure, his helper, lover and friend.  We were not created to nag and complain and belittle.  Support your man in his job...it offers so much for your family. Know what he does and how you can help. If it were taken from him today, would your family suffer? Appreciate what he does for you. Go back to the beginning and remind yourself of the characteristics that connected you to him.  Praise him and pray for him where he is weak. Don't hang around other women who complain about their men...you will become like them.  Allow your husband to be free to be the man God is calling him to be.  Your love and support will change him more than your scolding, correcting words. It's time to release your grip on the little things that don't matter. 

Pure as the white fallen snow....

When the word pure pops into my mind I think of clean, white, strong, naive, honest and gentle, untainted, precious and valuable, and for sure rare.  Some of these words actually seem like opposites.  So, how can they all describe the same word?  I love looking out at the snow and thinking of that very question.  It is beautiful and covers so many ugly things. It comes from the heavens, children love to play in it and make snowmen and snow angels.  It often brings a break from our daily routines, whether we like it or not.  Yet, it also brings cursing on the way to work, accidents and uneasy drivers. It brings shoveling or possibly even electric lines down which as you know leads to more troubles.  I am fascinated with this word because it's the very thing I strive for but yet seems the most unattainable.  One scripture I came across is in the Old Testament in the book of Leviticus.  It talks about the Old Testament Priests and how they needed to be pshycially pure so that they would be a representation of Christ's perfection as our High Priest.  When I understood this passage it all made sense.  God welcomes us into His presence and accepts us no matter how unpure we may be.  BUT, when we come before Him in worship, like the symbolism on the high priests in the O. T...we MUST be sure our hearts are clean, having no pride or harboring no blemish of impurity.  It gave me HOPE!  Then I read I Peter chapter 1 in the New Testament...and there I found the blueprint for purity.  Go ahead read it...see what it says to you.  Just as I love the white fallen snow....I love you my brother...from the heart...this has helped me in my search for the "white picket fence" I so desire!

Crap Free Diet

Diet is not an unfamiliar word in our culture.  Our diet is the regular consumption of food and drink.  When we say we are going on a diet we are saying we are going to regulate what we consume.  Some of the diets I have heard of consist of...no carbs, protein free, sugar free, fat free, calorie counting, gluten free and even the crash diet.  Actually, if you go through the alphabet A-Z you can name over 100 types of diets.  The only one I couldn't find was the "crap free diet."  Maybe it is because I am not talking about food at all.  The diet I am referring to is associated to drama and negativity in your life. 

We allow others to talk down to us, to convince us we are incapable of following our dreams and discourage us from trying new things.  We take on others burdens in a way that pulls us down instead of lightening their load to build them up.  We allow the decisions of others to determine our mood and even the course of our day.  Often, we have taken in so much crap in a days' time that we have nothing left to give at night, and we don't even know what we should have accomplished.  We spend our whole day reacting to the poor decisions of our husband, wife, child, sister, brother, mother, father or friend...virtually anyone we allow in our circle of life.  Before you beat yourself up too much, we all do it.  Especially, if we  have a heart.  I am being a little facetious here, but the point I am trying to make is that we love our friends and family therefore, we put up with a great deal of "crap" from them.  Somehow we feel obligated to them or feel we owe them for past years of help. 

If you have dreams and goals that just keep getting further away from you it might be time to go on a "crap free diet."  Learn to say no, learn to be proactive instead of reactive.  Those that cause drama or drain you of joy and peace need to stay at a distance.  They get to leave you a voicemail that you can return later.  They don't get to influence your decisions.  You call those who will encourage you first.  It is time to regulate what you are taking in.  You do have control over what you allow and who you allow to influence you.  It often takes 90 days to really see major results from a diet and change the habits you have in choosing food.  Try 90 days of saying no to negativity and drama in your life, and spend the next 3 months filling your life with good books, music, conversation and people who are energy givers and not energy takers.  Declare that you are going on a "crap free diet" today, and say goodbye to drama and negativity.  This will be the start of a life full of joy and peace.

Life's Little Pleasures

For those of you who know me well, I have a few indulgences. One is coffee and another is shoes. Chocolate, hot showers, red wine, grilled salmon and good books make the list as well. I know some of those are silly, but I bet you have a few little pleasures that make you smile, too. Do you find that life has you so bogged down that you can't enjoy little pleasures anymore? Is your day so full of chores or a heavy workload that you crawl into bed exhausted each night? Are you living in depression over finances or a broken relationship? Are you complaining about the "lack of" in your life and wonder if it will ever change? All of these situations can leave you drained and void of the little pleasures in life...a child's giggle, a beautiful sunset, a great cup of coffee or a hot bath. We all are guilty of going through the motions and missing out on things that bring us peace.  Be good to yourself today. Look for little pleasures that bring you joy during lifes' difficult days. Find ways to bless others, and put a smile on someone elses face by your act of kindness. When you begin to enjoy life's little pleasures, just maybe, you will open up the floodgates to receive a life of abundant blessings. Look at the world around you...there are little pleasures everywhere! Enjoy them!

Will It Get Easier?

Yes!!!  Don't you love it when someone can answer a hard question like that for you?  Being a single mom, I often get asked by other moms if "it" gets easier.  Well, if your asking if the laundry pile ever gets smaller, do the dishes ever go away, does the housework ever get less, do the children ever stop bickering, or do I ever get much sleep?  I change my answer to "no." At least not for a while that is.  Life has cycles. You may be in the workaholic cycle, baby cycle or the toddler or teen cycle.  And if you are crazy enough...all of those at one time...lol...If your in the empty nest cycle, well, I'm thinking that looks a little easier on the chores but maybe not the heart.  I'm not there yet.  However, my "yes" applies to perspective.  Every year that goes by, I learn more, I laugh more, I stress out less, I look for the positive in every situation, and I realize how fast my life is flying by. I won't to experience more joy don't you? When you change your perspective it does get easier.  Whatever amount of sleep you get is just enough, there is always something clean to wear. It may be in a pile on the kitchen table, but it's clean.  There is always the option of paper plates, and things could be worse with your children, so bickering about clothes or toys or who touched who...just doesn't matter anymore. It gets easier because you look at it differently.  You cherish the moments with your kids when you have them.  You learn to be thankful that your crazy busy job pays for more than you need instead of thinking you need more. You begin to relax about your chores and look for ways to simplify your life, and "love" is at the top of your list....loving family, loving friends, loving your spouse...just plain pouring out love to all you know.  Try it today, and life will just seem easier...bills and challenges won't just disappear...although, I ask for that from time to time...but the pressures of life won't seem so overwhelming and you can tell others...it does get easier!

Church- To Go? Not to Go?

Going to Church for this girl is not a tough decision. It's an action of discipline from childhood. But can going to Church be more than a ritual or more than an act of discipline? Well, first of all Church isn't just a building...it's a group of people who come together for corporate worship, fellowship and the studying of God's word. Have you ever gone to Church, not even sure what you sang, really had no clue what relevance the message had in your life and left without talking to a stranger? I have visited a few places like that over the years and felt as empty when I left as when I walked in. It can discourage you from the desire to go again. Finding a Church to call "your home" isn't easy. But, don't lose heart. Look for a Church that uses the Bible as it's foundation, preaches eternal life through salvation not of works, and has friendly people greeting you each week! Going alone is tough too. I remember many years feeling uncomfortable without my spouse or a friend to sit with. When you open yourself up to be friendly you will meet people quickly, so hang in there.  If you have never been or it's been many years...you may think those you know who go to Church act worse than you do. And in some cases you are right! That's because you don't have to "clean up" your act to come to Church. You come out of a desire to learn and the hope that God in you will transform you to become a better person...more like Christ.  Don't compare yourself to those who go....chances are you need each other. For those of us who have called a "Church" our family...we can testify that life is way more bearable, a whole lot more fun, and the rewards can be eternal! In our incredibly intelligent cyber-world....Church can come to you...if your health or the health of your family keeps you home...or your job requires your hours...download or watch pod casts...but get connected to a group of people with the desire to help one another be the best you can be....going to Church or not...doesn't make us more or less Christian, but it can make your week a whole lot better and your burden a little lighter!

Pocket Full of Regrets

Yeah...some of us have more than a pocket full.  We have more like a lifetime full.  Everyone can identify with regrets in some way or another.  I talk to a lot of people who shake their heads and say, "I wish I had never gone there, If only I would have listened, I don't know what I was thinking, I knew better, but..." As I listen, I see my own life in the mirror and echo the same phrases.  Life does have a way of coming back around.  When you make bad choices you get bad results, and when you make good choices the blessings flow.  What are we supposed to do with all the regrets? We can't go back in time and change our choices. And, we certainly can't change the consequences that came as a result.  But, we can learn from the past and use our pocket full of regrets to help others who may be looking for some answers in this broken world.  We can also choose to be humbled by all our past mistakes, and thank God for saving us from our stupidity. Even if your life has been pretty good so far...there are always things you could have done better...shown a little more love, given a little more, bit your tongue a few times, or maybe there was a path or opportunity you wish you would have taken...a missed opportunity. You don't have to have lived an immoral life to have regrets.  There are times we feel sorry for or even grieve what we can't get back.  The bible tells us not to waste a minute of today worrying about the past or we will miss out on the blessings here and now.  Well, isn't that a simple answer?  We waste a lot of time talking about, grieving and thinking about yesterday that today is nearly gone. 

Check out the words of Rascal Flatts, Unstoppable .  My daughter left it up on my computer today, and as I listened I heard so much truth in the words of the song that I applied to our spiritual walk. When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, it was the ultimate sacrifice of love was it not? No matter what you have done wrong...if you just believe you will receive the gift of eternal life because of His love.  You cannot screw that up no matter how you try.  His love is unstoppable. There is nothing so bad that good can't come from it...not even tragedy or death, immoral sins or broken promises.  I can't possibly tell you the good that will come from these things; I just believe in a God so powerful and all knowing that His love makes all things right...and I trust in that! And as far as the loves of this world...brotherly love, unconditional love and romantic love...well they are unstoppable too...no more regrets...just a pocket full of love!

Crack Pot

Are you a cracked pot? I am...broken and imperfect, exactly how I am supposed to be in order to point others to God. As a matter of fact, if you think you got it pretty well together, I guess you should check with your closest friends and family. I bet they could point out a few flaws! People are funny that way...it's easier for them to find the imperfections in the lives of others before dealing with their own. Just love them in spite of their judgement, and don't let their opinion keep you from your destiny.

If you put a light inside a flawless pot and cover it no light shines through, but if you put a light in a cracked pot its' internal light shines through. Not everyone has a life that blesses others. Some people are too caught up in religion, forcing others to follow a set of rules, while others are too self absorbed to see past their own problems. It's no secret that God uses ordinary people to do "extra ordinary" things.  He uses our weakness to show His great power.  Don't look at what you're going through right now, but look at what you're becoming in the process. There is no need to worry about what others think of you...especially, if until now you have lived a life of self-gratification....let others watch the transformation process. You may be a "crack pot" now....but, the more cracks...the more light others will see when you begin to let God work in you for greater good to accomplish His purpose!

I Sleep Alone

Single again after divorce, I sleep alone.

Occassionally, the cat curls up at my feet or a child climbs in beside me in the middle of the night, but my days of nursing babies, fussy toddlers and sharing the bed with my husband have ended. Maybe you sleep on the couch while your spouse sleeps alone in the bedroom. Arguements, laziness, alcoholism, indifference or separation may have you sleeping alone. Call of duty could pull you away from your lover and you face sleepless nights alone and worried.  After 50 years of marriage, or fatal tragedy, your spouse may have gone home to Jesus and you sleep alone. You may have found some comfort on top of the blankets, the other side of the bed, another room, or allow your four legged friend to share your space, but the void remains. We were created for love and companionship, so it's no wonder these temporary "baby blankets" won't satisfy. We were also created to give God glory. So, in the dark of the night use your solitude to talk to your Creator and tell Him the plea of your heart. He longs to hear from you and desires to meet your need. He can make time fly, repair broken marriages, make room in your heart to love again, and defy all odds. It just could be...that while you sleep alone...somewhere out there, or just down the hall, someone meant for you sleeps alone too....just waiting on you!

Deal with It

I was sitting in my living room this morning failing at every effort to write something thought provoking on my blog.  Katie comes along and wants to read some of my writing.  She tells me that I should write the title "Just Deal with It" because that's what life is all about. I said, "Why don't you be the guest author?"  So, here you have it. Out of the mouth of babes...or, in this case a 9 year old, an unedited version taken directly from her lined white paper.....

"Well, you will just have to deal with it. Sometimes in life you'll just have to suck it up because when you are hurt God wants to have every part in it. He can do very special things for you and you can be thankful for everything God has given you. And when He does happy things for you you should thank Him in every way so you can receive good things in your life.  But, sometimes when things go wrong you will just have to deal with it and try not to have a bad day because you can't control what happens in your life, but you can control your actions to them. So, when you have a bad time with someone or something you might just want to deal with it and not get carried away.  Think about something else. Or, if that doesn't work you just might want to deal with it."

Meet in the Middle

The middle has always had an uncomfortable feeling associated with it.  When you sit in the back seat of the car and have someone on either side of you, you feel squished. There is no leg room or shoulder room.  The middle child seems to struggle with issues of fairness. The youngest is babied, the oldest does no wrong, and the middle child feels like no one hears them and they get left out...so I hear. The middle of anything is sometimes hard to reach, especially your back when it itches.  Divorced couples who now live on different sides of town must meet in the middle to drop off and pick up their children. But, meeting in the middle is also a phrase used for compromise.  When two people or parties are working together on a project and they think on opposite ends of the spectrum, it is important that they both walk toward one another and meet somewhere in the middle.  This takes the best of both ideas and comes up with a workable solution that both can agree on.  It often opens the door of opportunity for a bigger audience as well.  You now appeal to more people on the same subject. Do you have a family member that you seem to argue with on the same "rabbit chase" all the time?  Do you butt heads with a strong-willed child more than you care to? In your workplace do you sometimes feel your boss listens to other co-workers ideas above yours? Compromise is definitely uncomfortable when you have a strong personality for sure.  I confess, I tend to like things my way.  But, those who do not prefer to be in a leadership position will appreciate your efforts to hear them out and meet them in the middle.  Everyone wants to feel important and feel self-worth. So, the next time you just don't want to budge, try taking a few steps toward the middle and you just might find that a little compromise brings a lot of peace!

Stay the Course

Do you have trouble finishing what you start? Do you have scrapbooks or photo albums half assembled? Did you ever start a remodeling project and just not complete it? How about sewing or journaling, painting or organizing? I have a few of these unfinished projects around my house, but more disappointing are the life goals I  set and ventured to complete that I dropped along the way. Oh, I started full speed ahead with enthusiasm, but as soon as the "price" to finish was greater than my desire to accomplish it...I justified leaving it behind. Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for lightening my load of things that won't get me closer to my goal. But, I think there is no better time than January 1st to take two steps back...pick up the unfinished projects that you were once enthusiastic about and plan to complete them. If you find some baggage back there that won't move you forward...leave it...it will only way you down. Do the hard work to stay the course....no matter how big or small the goal. Maybe it's that book you started, that class you dropped, that small business you invested in, or maybe a friendship you never really gave a chance. Whatever it is, the dream was there for a reason and it deserves your best. Not only is it honorable to finish what we start, but it opens  opportunities to do new and greater things...