He used to say this to her every morning as he kissed her on the cheek while she still lay tucked under the covers. He had already worked out and showered and was off for his day of work. She smiled and said, "I love you", as she rolled over for another hour of sleep. Once she was up she headed off to work and found herself day dreaming of what life would be like when she built her first home, had her children and awaited her husband to come home from work each day. She would surely greet him with a wet, sloppy kiss, kind words and a warm meal. She envisioned an evening of playing with children, talking about dreams, and frolicking under the sheets once the kids were asleep. Every decision she made was headed toward creating that dream. She never asked her husband if he had the same dream. He was busy building one of his own, yet she didn't understand. All he talked about was himself and his dreams, and she never heard them. She found herself alone in a world with no companion. Oh, they were together at family functions and went to Church together on Sunday, but her evenings were filled with cooking and cleaning, and playing with her children....alone. This was not at all as she had imagined...She put them to bed alone, and she went to bed alone. She often woke up alone. The morning greetings and kisses slowly disappeared. How did this happen, and why was her dream falling apart? Didn't she have a home with a white picket fence? She had a handsome husband and beautiful children and she was doing her part to be kind and look beautiful to please him. Life was happening all around her and she was dancing every day, but dancing solo. She began to see signs of a man she did not know. She began uncovering secrets and deceptions that nearly tore her heart apart. His secret world was no longer a secret, and it was destroying her....
Within her there was an inner strength....
She began researching and seeking advice, and now when she looked in the mirror at who she had become she realized that she left herself behind in the quest for her white picket fence. Her talents were hidden and her beauty fleeting. After struggling through cycles of anger, bitterness, self-blame and grief, she became absorbed in helping her husband change back to the man she thought He was, or the man she thought he should become. Thinking she was doing the right thing...she only became controlling and demanding, needy and unforgiving, selfish and ugly. Her white picket fence was now weathered and broken. She did not have the time, or more accurately the desire to restore it. There was nothing beautiful about the morning anymore. This is based on a true story, and it would be sad if it stopped here...but by the grace of God alone she began to uncover who she was in Christ. She began praying for her husband, learning how to forgive and most importantly she began to find her beauty and talents again. She found her joy in her children and placed her focus on their lives. She realized she had so much to give, and God had even more to give in return. I don't know the end of her story...I may never know, but when I left her she was able to say, "good morning beautiful" to the world around her.
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