Alone in a crowded room...

I sometimes feel alone in a crowded room.  How can that be possible when there are people all around me listening to a speaker, laughing at a party, watching a movie, eating dinner or dancing? And yet, my mind wanders. Where does it go and why?  It travels to my dream, and if that crowded room is not in my dream or it doesn't include all the people in my dream then it feels wrong.  It feels incomplete. I then lose sight of my dream and my mind becomes bogged down with all my problems that seem so insurmountable.  Now, I am defeated, and I am missing out on what the speaker has to say or the fun at the party at hand, or I miss the best part of the movie and even worse I don't enjoy my dinner and never get to dance.... Have you ever heard the grass isn't greener on the other side?  If we know that it isn't... then why do we always paint it better in our head then it is in reality?  I really don't know the answers to all these questions, and I hope someday it will all make sense to me. But, I do know that there are so many hurting people in the world, and I have been one of them enough times that I don't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.  (How does someone have a worst enemy anyway?)

Sometimes you can't tell people about the love of Jesus...you just have to show them.  So, do you know what I do?  I like to make everyone feel like they belong in that crowded room, and they were meant to be there for a reason.  One of my travels took me to the beautiful state of Florida.  While I was there I hit the town shopping and out to dinner with a friend.  We had a good old girlfriend time enjoying our freedom from our daily schedules and taking in the new sights.  For dinner we ended up eating at a little sidewalk bar just outside the restaurant.  The weather was nothing short of perfect and the live music coming from inside was inviting.  It was pretty crowded, but sitting at the bar we could watch the people walking by and enjoy the entertainment on the dance floor. Being only 5'2 and 110 lbs...a little wine makes for a happy spirit.  Within a short period of time, I was friends with the everyone in the restaurant and the dance floor became my home for the rest of the evening.  My girlfriend would add details much to my embarrassment which is why I didn't invite her to help me write this post:)  As I began making friends, I saw beautiful faces everywhere, yet, all I could see was heartache.  So, I began pulling them to the dance floor, laughing and smiling and for that moment there was no such thing as alone to me.  The world was a great place to be, and I needed to know more of it.  I'd like to think I changed the world that night, but the truth is, at best, I left a fun memory for a few people.  I've experienced that feeling a time or two again over the years... where the world seemed right for just a moment. Now, each time I find myself  in a crowded room consumed with thoughts of what's not right in my world...I remember that dance floor and think there must be a lot of people who feel alone in this big big world full of people.

I can't change the world, but I hope to change the room when I walk in it!