Favor or Favortism

"Mom, that's not fair." This is a statement I've come to hear a lot.  If you have more than one child you may hear it often as well.  Unless you have twins, your children are not the same age at the same time and even if they are all children progress at different levels, and gender plays a role in their developmental stages too.  Therefore, someone gets a bike before another, one may get a phone while the other has to wait, ears may be pierced at different ages, trips taken on different occasions, going on a date or driving a car may vary from one child to another, or privileges given at certain benchmarks in life can change with depending on the child.  I even hear adults use the same phrase, "It's not fair." Maybe they are discussing salaries of other co-workers or treatment they receive within their family from parents or siblings. Fairness issues come about when someone thinks they should have received the exact same gift, treatment or opportunity that another person was given.  I have recently decided to adopt the mindset that since I know life can be unfair, and I can't always be fair to everyone... I CAN focus on favor.  I can teach my children that when one of them receives something that the other does not...that person has just received favor, and we can rejoice in it because their day of favor is coming. They can accept that their brother or sister gets something or receives a privilege that they don't...knowing that when their favor comes it may even be greater! I can't possibly do the same thing for each child all the time, but it's not going to stop me from doing for one what I would love to do for all.  So, the next time you are feeling guilty about showing favoritism to one of your children...don't...simply share with them that this is called favor...a gift from the Lord... and tell the others God loves them so much His favor for them must be coming soon. Teach them to look for it, recognize it as God's favor, accept it and give Him thanks for it! And as far as adults are concerned...the principle is the same...rejoice in one anothers' favor because your day is coming! Look for it!