Paying Forward

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store as is my regular routine on a Sunday evening.  The very first thing I did was pick up some flowers.  This time I chose a beautiful yellow bouquet. I often choose what I would like to have on my kitchen table.  As I shop I  pay attention to those in the store with me and wonder who God is going to have me bless when I get to the check out counter.  However, this week I was shopping with a friend and talking, so I didn't even tune myself into those around me.  By the time I got to the check out line I thought I might actually be taking the flowers home because no one seemed to be in the store.  Just as I paid for my groceries an elderly lady paid for her few items in the line beside me.  I immediately knew she was the one who should be blessed.  She seemed lonely and unhappy... as if she too were going through her regular routine.  Once we both paid our bill, I simply handed her the flowers and told her that I wanted her to blessed.  I would pray for her this week and each time she saw the flowers I wanted her to be reminded of God's love for her.  Her eyes were big and round and her mouth showed no curve until I finished talking.  Then she mustered the biggest smile and said. "thank you; that is so sweet of you."
My intention for sharing this story is not for kudos on my simple giving. After all, we are only talking a few dollars and small act of kindness.  I share this story because I want us all to be reminded that there are so many hurting people around us who need to know the love of Christ.  They have lost their hope, and many of their dreams have been shattered or just seem to far out of reach.  A simple act of kindness lets others know God does love them, and He does care for their every need.  What can you do today to show the love of Christ to others?  When you begin paying forward you will change the world one person at a time and more importantly you will receive blessings you never imagined!

When I lack knowledge

There are some areas in which I just lack knowledge.  When this happens, I either don't do them at all, or I get help from someone who does have the knowledge.  However, there are areas of life that we have to perform well in even when we lack the knowledge.  When you have your first child you may lack the knowledge of changing a diaper or getting a baby to sleep through the night.  Often times, we lack knowledge through many of their growing stages.  We rely on books or advice from parents who's children have already been there and done that.  We lack knowledge in a new job and rely on the training provided or a senior mentor.  We lack wisdom when it comes to tough parenting decisions, financial budgeting, schooling for our children, career changes, moving, relationships.  The list of areas where we fall short in knowing...can be overwhelming, and sometimes we don't have access to the resources that could help us. 

So. what do we do?  Faith is the answer.  When we trust God to provide an answer and look for His leading we are strong where we lack knowledge.  What if our faith is weak?  The reality of life is... our faith is tested all the time.  It is a real possibility that we have moments where our faith is weak.  When tragedy happens in our life or in the lives of those we love, when good people or even strong Christian people make bad decisions, when depression from hurts done to us take root, or when it seems all odds are against us... our faith can wobble.  Then what?  Lean on your knowledge or the knowledge of others....lean on the Bible, the most trusted source of truth.  I am so thankful for my memory at times... because when my faith is weak I remember what I have studied in God's word to help me through.

When I lack the knowledge I am so very thankful that my Faith in the One who loves me most will make a way! (Scriptures to read on Faith: Matt.6:25-34; Heb.11; Ps. 119:56-72; Prov. 3:5-6)

Perfect Fit

We often try to fit the wrong person into the right spot.  Have you ever put a puzzle together with someone who insists on making a piece fit, and you know it doesn't go there?  Have you ever put together a piece of equipment, toy or furniture item and you end up with extra pieces that don't seem to belong anywhere?  We all have a dream of what we hope our lives look like at certain benchmarks.  The problem is we panic. When we reach those benchmarks and the picture isn't complete...we try to hurry up and cram in a piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit. We just put it together without really knowing where all the pieces belong.  Life is so much like this.  We try and change people who are already in our life and convince them they are supposed to be there.  We create a role for them in our life that doesn't fit for them.  We do this because we think we have little time, or we think we may not find the right person for that role. But, the truth is, if we wait patiently and we don't force others to fit where they are not designed...we will honestly be on the road to creating our dream in God's timing. People come and go in our lives...let them...they are there for a reason and sometimes just a season.  Don't force people to fit in your dream...you will know for sure when they are a perfect fit!

Finding Joy....

As I observe women I find that depression comes from not being able to control circumstance in their lives.  Some women are unhappy with their weight and no matter what diet they try they can't seem to lose it.  Others are mistreated verbally by husbands or family members and this keeps them from getting out of bed or from being productive.  Unfaithfulness certainly causes depression and financial crisis takes a high ranking as well.  When I observe the men in my circle of influence I notice the ones that struggle with depression do so because of addiction, financial insecurity or identity in the job force. There may be many other factors that cause depression including mental and clinical, but what is the flip side of the coin?  I notice that women who are busy about their day with outside work, home projects, child raising, volunteering or time consuming hobbies tend to be more joyful and less depressed.  These same women struggle with the circumstances that cause depression, but they are so busy filling their lives with people,  productive work and projects that depression has little time to fester.  I see the same in men.  The guys who get up early, physically work hard with their occupation or around the house and their property tend to be more laid back.  I see men who provide well for their families and also volunteer their time with their children or community activities.  I believe hard work and a busy schedule is good medicine for the soul...of course, there are always unhealthy extremes...scripture warns us about them, but when you find it hard to cheer up and difficult to get out of bed...try adding some more activity that includes being around others to brighten your mood.  Depression can be beat, and finding joy is sometimes a choice away.

Seasons Change

Just as the natural seasons of the year come and go without fail, seasons of  life change without fail.  We become so self-absorbed in our hurts and hangups that we miss the beauty in each season of our life.  Parents often say,"Where did the time go? My children grew up so fast." You find yourself looking back on the events of your life and feel discouraged because you never reached all the desires of your heart. Spending time looking at the failures or missed goals behind you will leave you in bad weather all the time. It's good to learn from them but not to dwell on them.  Better days do come, and blessings are always there. Every dream in your heart was placed there by God.  It is not too late to act on it, and God has every intention of bringing it to pass. The trouble is...you can't see it because you don't believe it. I haven't quite grasped why it's so difficult to allow the seasons in our life to change without discouragement. I'm still working on that one daily, but weather is such a mirror image of the seasons of life.  There are nights that the storms keep me awake and evenings when I am in my basement following a tornado warning on the news.  Yet, in the summer months, I am am enjoying the heat of sun in my bathing suit and watching my children play on the beach.  The snow storms particularly intrigue me as they cover all that is dirty with their beauty, but when they melt they leave behind an even bigger mess!  I can be good at covering up a mess, but...oh, how temporary...and then I have a lot of muck to walk in.  Rain is my favorite...it washes snow and dirt away, and I even like the smell of rain.  New flowers and green grass appear in the days that follow...but even then, weeds so generously rear their heads.  You will always have favorite seasons of life however, with beauty hardships still come....you have certainly heard the analogy of the rose...so magnificent yet surrounded by thorns...If you will allow yourself to change your thinking about the "circle of life" we live in...believing that all things do work together for your good, that your Father in Heaven does love you and desires to bless you...then maybe today the changes you are facing won't seem so hard after all....just let the seasons change. Not only will you begin to appreciate all that they have to offer, but you will find that the blessing was worth the pain, dreams do come true, and there really is a silver lining .....

Subtle Hints.....

Do you ever feel like maybe you should do what the fortune cookie says?  Do you ever pass a sign on the road that has your name in big black print? Or, maybe not your name, but even more unsettling...the sign actually answers a question you just asked in your head.  How about....you pick up a book, read an email or a blog post that seems to be talking right to you and your current situation? 

I am so aware of these signs that I actually look for them now.  I love the subtle hints all around me.  I especially like them when they come from my family...unprompted.  Just today, my daughter created a new screen saver on my computer with my small business unit name on it.  I never said I wanted that, and I never asked her to make me a new screen saver.  She just thought it up all on her own.  I don't know what even prompted her. It was just the subtle motivation I needed from my child to keep working hard in my business.  Has anyone ever confirmed a career for you, or made a difficult decision seem clear by something they said?  These really aren't subtle hints at all. I believe some things aren't meant for us and just seem random for sure, but when some random things make sense...I believe it is how God orchestrates His creation and the world around us to speak to us. 

There are messages, encouragements and warnings everywhere.  Be open to what God is saying to you through the "subtle hints" around you!

Transition

There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former.....I stole a portion of  this quote...not even sure where from...but I love it.  When we grasp the fact that our life is a continual chain of events linked to the one before we will be able to design our life!  We are always in a state of transition.  We go to school, we graduate, we get a job, we get married, we change jobs, we have children, we get divorced, we go back to school and the cycle goes on.  For some the transitions are less dramatic then others and come with certain stages of life.  We are aging and our family is aging therefore our responsibilities change along the way.  We don't have to react to life.  We can plan.  When we decide to to go to school for a certain profession we are designing the path of occupation we want to take.  When we move to an area of town we are designing the lifestyle we want our children to grow up in.  I often hear people say, " I'm going through a transition right now."  What they mean by that is they can't make any decisions of great value, and they are stuck.  I want to respond by saying,  "that's good, I am too."  If you are not going through a continual state of transition you are standing still and not moving forward toward your dream.  Embrace transition.  Realize that it is an open opportunity for you to meet people, grow, get unstuck.  It may very well be the path to the dream you have been trying to create all along.

Forgive This?

Are you kidding me?  I am supposed to forgive abuse? My husband had an affair, my father verbally belittled me, I was beaten, my virginity was stolen when I was raped, I was lied to by someone I trusted, my child was wounded by him, my life was ruined by her choices, my mother hated me, his reckless driving killed my family member....the list is endless and can be even more brutal than some of these things.....I can not possibly know your pain, or identify with all of these...but I do know it's real, and I do know it surfaces every chance it gets. Most of us have experienced at least one of these acts of abuse...I personally had an unfaithful husband who struggled with his own addictions, and our family was greatly affected by his choices.  Our anger can be justified and our pain can be very deep from the wounds of life circumstances.  But, if you want the pain to go away, and you want to live the rest of your life experiencing joys you watch others living out....there is only one prescription.  There is only one antidote that will make that happen....forgiveness....when we stop wanting the other person to feel pain...we have forgiven.  When we begin replacing those hurts with more enjoyable memories...healing begins....tears may flow because medicine sometimes burns....but the pain begins to subside, and soon only a scar will be left to remind you of the pain. You will no longer feel it...instead you can experience joy in the moment.  You can uncover the scar, look at it, and remember your experience and what you learned from it... but, instead of feeling the pain, you can bring hope to someone else during their time of hurt.  Not only have you been able to forgive, but you are now able to give...and with giving comes unspeakable joy.  So, forgive this?  Yes!  How?...by replacing that memory of the hurt with a new memory of joy...one at a time.

Courageous Conversation

Do you talk to yourself about what you would say if you were brave enough?  Do you share how you really feel with a good friend or your spouse?  Do you stay awake at night wishing you should have said....?  We all do. It's quite common to shrink in fear of how others might view us or fear of rejection or repercussions.  God has not given us a spirit of fear but one of sound mind and wisdom.  If you have an idea, a dream, or a plan...you owe it to yourself, your family, the others involved and to God to share what He has laid on your heart.  If you are weak of speech, shy or nervous...God is more than ready to step in and give you strength.  If you are quick of tongue, not so kind or possibly border on being judgmental and critical..God can edit your words and replace your tone to match the intentions of your heart. You must trust Him and be willing to fail in your attempt to share truth, and allow God to have the victory.  When these tough conversations come up at home, at work and in your relationships... make an effort to step out of your own way and share what you are really thinking and then you will have peace.  Creating your dream life always comes with a tag line of peace.  If you find ways to create peace you will be paving the way to the life you have always wanted.  Step out of your comfort zone...say what's on your heart and mind and move forward.  The freedom that you will feel is like a really great vacation that never ends!!

Dreams of a Woman...

No one goes through life without dreams...they are just a part of who we are.  Little girl dreams begin when we put on mama's dress and high heels, play school with our friends or pretend we are getting married.  Dreams of a woman continue when we see a beautiful dress, watch a movie with enticing scenery and imagine ourselves in it, or when we read a novel and wish we were the character being portrayed.  Dreams are lived vicariously through our friends and family. That's why everyone wants to be a part of the winning team.  As women we dream when we look in the mirror and wish for beauty. We dream of our wedding day and motherhood.  Perhaps, we dreamed for a better family, a dad who was loving, a mom who was kind, clothes that weren't hand me downs, or a friend who called YOU "best".  For many of us we have carried these dreams from one season of life to another only to realize that they are not being fulfilled.  They are not possible, someone has stolen them or shattered them and we resent who we are.  Worse then resenting who we are is resenting those we blame for our stolen dreams....Yuck...that is the ugly truth. But, there is hope...we can have new dreams everyday and we have promises in *scripture that remind us that God sees all, will bring righteous judgment where we have been wronged, and that He does not forsake those who seek him. If your dreams as a woman have been shattered, stolen, or you have made choices that keep them out of reach... approach the throne of grace with confidence so you may find help in your time of need.
*Prov. 5:21, 2 Thessalonians 1:5-10, Psalm 9:10