Renewed Hope

Can you think back on a time in your life where the world just seemed full of possibilities, and you were hopeful about the future events of your life?  For me this time was during my college days and those leading up to my first job and marriage.  I am sure I struggled with disappointments, rejection, heartache, and challenges, but I don't remember them.  Or, maybe I should say...I don't remember them stopping me from fulling my dreams. My focus was on what was available to me and where I was headed. 

Somehow the years from there to here gradually caused the hope to fade away.  Can you look back and relate?  Maybe, you landed your dream job.  And, one day you found yourself wondering if you would be there the rest of your life...little by little resentment began to set in.  Did you marry your best friend only to find out you really never knew them at all? Or, they fell short of your expectations.... Life continued to happen, and it just seemed you were digging a deeper hole.  At very best...you could get excited about someone else getting married, having a baby or celebrating a huge accomplishment.  But, you have given up the hope and joys of your life continuing in that same manner. 

The noun hope means a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. When you lose hope there is no longer an expectation for desirable things to happen. On the contrary, you begin to actually believe the opposite. You expect misery and defeat. You assume that life will never be joyful or full of hope again.

How can we change that thought process?  How do we renew our hope?  You know by now...I go to the scripture when I need answers, and one of my favorite verses is Isaiah 40:31..."But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Simply put...wait on the Lord for his help...put your trust in Him...the promise is you will be renewed. In scripture Hope is a confident expectation...a certainty that God will keep His promise and it's not merely something we "wish" to happen.

Hope does not allow us to escape reality or our problems. I know what your thinking...what does? Nothing does...we must deal with reality no matter how much we avoid it.  Hope changes how we view our circumstances and how we see ourselves in our reality.  Hope shows what we value in life. Hope gets us up every morning and gives us a plan.  It takes the pressure off.  It allows us to know God is in control.  So, if you have lost your hope...take some time to ask God to renew it.  Since I know that what God gives...He gives to all...and since He has renewed my hope...I know He will do it for you too.
 
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

There are so many great verses on hope in the Bible. Here are a few to get you started.  As you read, remember, no matter how impossible it looks...when you put your hope in the Lord and wait...yes...patiently...probably the hardest part...He is going to keep His promise. He will renew your joy and restore your strength. You might just feel like a soaring eagle...I don't know about you...but that excites my spirit!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, Whose hope is in the LORD his God; i.e., rather than man." Psalm 146:5

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him." Psalm 62:5

Stolen Dreams

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined.”(Thoreau) 

This may seem a little bit of a fairy tale thought to you, but in light of scripture we can have the desires of our heart when we trust God with them. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

As a child my dreaming consisted of Christmas toys and summer fun. As a teenager, I dreamed of my first dance and my first kiss.  As a young lady, my thoughts were consumed with the perfect career, Prince Charming and my white picket fence…As a woman, I have dreamed of a happy family, unconditional love and security. Our dreaming never stops.  I believe God has placed a vision in our hearts from birth to live a life full of fantasy, love and excitement.

Our imagination is active as a child and the more it is cultivated the more it grows. Each time our hunger is starved or our imagination is squelched by life experiences or negative people our dreams seem more and more unattainable…until one day we see no hope for our future at all.

 

Divorce is definitely a top dream stealer.  Have you ever had something physically stolen like a wallet or cell phone?  Don’t you feel violated? How dare someone take something that they didn’t earn or pay for… something that had a rightful owner already? When divorce robs you of your dreams you feel offended and violated in this same way.  You may even feel like your spouse destroyed your scrapbook…something you have invested time and energy in…you have rights to your things, your children, your lifestyle and your marriage.  Divorce, certainly, can feel like a violation of the life we "own."  It is only when we change our thought process to “God-ownership” that we can feel free. He owns our belongings. He owns our children. He owns our very life. We can stop getting angry at the dream stealer and ask God for a confidence to follow His direction…and once again make our path straight.

I want to encourage you today.  Even if divorce has robbed you of the life that you have known for years, you are allowed to start over.  From today on…you can begin a new scrapbook and add pictures of toys and vacations, dream homes, jobs and, yes, even Prince Charming!  No one can take away your gift to dream.  Dreaming allows us to hope again.  It allows us to put our energy toward goals that are healthy for us.  As a matter of fact, once you begin, you will realize that you can now dream even bigger than before.  You may be able to act on a fantasy from your youth that your marriage had put a stop to.  Maybe you have always wanted to paint, or write a book, take singing lessons, or finish your degree. You now have the freedom to go or do the things you were unable to do when you were busy surviving the hurricane that became your life.  Dreams give life.  Possibilities bring joy.

A book worth reading!

  Start making a new dream book today.  Map out what you want your life to look like in 6 months, a year and 5 years from now. Begin creating a new vision for your life and start making decisions to walk in the direction of that vision.  Divorce destroyed your first scrapbook, but gave you a reason to start a new one. Dream big this time...no holding back.  Ask God for exceedingly abundantly above what you can ask or think.  You are the only one limiting yourself to what can happen in your future. 

Romans 11:29 tells us that God’s gifts and his calling on our life are irrevocable…He still wants you to live out the desire of your heart. How do you know if the desire of your heart is God given?  When I researched the Hebrew meaning of “desires of our heart” I found that it simply means that He will add desires on our heart. When we make ourselves moldable and pliable we “delight” in the Lord…Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”…then He can equip us to endure any trial on the path to fulfill our purpose in life.......“May He give you the desire of your heart and make all you plans succeed.”  Psalm 20:4

Disaster

The dirty laundry was piled high in each bedroom and bathroom. There was a mound of clean laundry on the kitchen table. The dishwasher was broken and every plate, glass and utensil was caked with dried food and stacked all over the counter.  Dusting hadn’t happened in weeks, and the carpet was torn up and there wasn’t any money to replace it. Kids’ school books, toys, jackets, baby toys and junk were strewn everywhere.  My house was a disaster.  To make matters worse the dog tracked in paw prints, and I dropped the cereal box out of the pantry losing half of its’ contents on the floor because someone forgot to roll the bag inside. Do you know what I did? I dumped the rest of the box of cereal out on the floor and stomped all over it like a mad woman.  I had lost it.  Not only was disaster happening in my marriage, but it was spilling over in my home. Maybe you can relate. This was a reality in my life when I was going through my separation.

When your mind is so consumed with your pain and hurt you can't keep your house in order.  It is difficult to focus on a task long enough to complete it.  If things get way out of hand in your home you have to ask for help.  Professionals need to clean the carpets, painters need hired, a plumber is needed for the disposal (I tried to replace one on my own...not recommended...talk about disaster!!!), a lawn boy is required, and since the laundry was neglected it now takes days instead of hours to wash, dry, fold and put away. There is only one problem. You are beyond broke and do not have money to higher help.  So, your disaster continues to spread. When you have children and are going through a divorce everything is affected.  There is hope. You will survive.  And you will get your house and mind in order.

Divorce causes disaster to happen the same way within your very being.  Before long your emotions are in your throat 24/7, you get angry at everything your children do or don’t do, and you are not sure what you believe any more or even why you exist at all.  Your emotional disaster spreads, and sometimes you find it hard to get out of bed.  You need help.  Since funds are frozen or not even available during your divorce you will need to search elsewhere. Many Churches have divorce care groups, free counseling, and lots of willing servants. There are outreach ministries in your area willing to help those in need. County programs can assist you with food and bills, and you just may need to call a trusted friend to help you get your house back in order.  Your schedule and childcare may be a challenge, but if you don’t take steps to address what is happening in your home and in your heart you will no longer recognize either one of them. Taking these steps will humble you to the point of complete embarrassment, but trust me it is in these experiences that you will grow stronger, smarter, wiser and love more. Your children need you to be whole and they need the security of some order in the house during this unsettling time. When you begin cleaning up your home you will move couches and clean in crevices that haven’t been exposed in years.  The same will be true of your heart. You will begin exposing the real you who hasn’t been seen in years. The end result is a house and heart “just like new.” Hang in there. I have seen beautiful structures built where disaster once was strewn.

Don't Give Up

Do you want to feel better?  Do you want the pain and heartache to go away?  Do you just want some direction or answers?  Here are ten ideas to get you started.  Stop everything and focus on this list in a 24 hour period! 

Focus on #1 and #2 the first 8 hour day....then work through #3-#10 the second day. (If you can get off work for the second day as well; then do it)...If taking off work is simply not an option for you...then you must work through this list on your next two day weekend or your days off. 

Ten Things To Do When Life gets Too Hard

1.  Pray for Direction and Peace...If you don't know how...ask someone who does to pray for you!

2.  Take a day off work and go to lunch, the park or shopping...anything but stay at home...no drinking or going to clubs...just a peaceful day with no responsibilities...maybe catch a movie or visit an attraction close to town...if you have an encouraging friend who is available ask them to join you for the day.

3.  Sit down and make a list of 6 things you would like to accomplish today. (phone calls, errands, purchases, bills paid...anything that is time sensitive)

4.  Schedule an appointment for a facial, manicure or haircut.

5.  Listen to uplifting, upbeat music all day....maybe do a short workout or walk in your neighborhood while listening to your favorite tunes.

6.  Print off a few positive quotes and hang them in the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom.

7.  Put some order into your life: the overwhelming pile of clothes, the cluttered room, closet, garage or cabinets.  Take time to deal with one cluttered area.

8.  Give something away today...a box of things to goodwill, a gift to a friend, flowers at the grocery store, a kind word with a smile...think of something to offer others.

9.  Make something homemade....a  meal, a craft...anything that requires a little time, attention and love.

10.  Take Action on the "Elephant" in your life: the dreaded phone call, the appointment, the confrontation, the confession....one step at a time.

When you are finished....thank God for a little direction and some peace and one more day of life! Remember: This too shall pass, and there are brighter days ahead!  Don't give up!

Don't Lose Love

Wow...I almost didn't write this one today.  I had so many thoughts rolling around in my head. Here are just a few:  love sucks(that may have gotten some attention)....love them or leave them....love of a lifetime....one true love....love never dies....love conquers a multitude of sins....love of money....love/hate relationships....conditional/unconditional love, and....the list goes on.  I'm sure you could add a few of your own titles.

My ideas on love would be pretty one-sided and skewed based on my experiences thus far in life....some amazing and some not so much.  So, I thought since I'm still holding out for another love of a lifetime....what in the world do I say about "love" that would make a difference?  Then it hit me....when I lack knowledge, and I have no answers where do I go?  I go to the Scripture....What does God's word say about love?  It tells us that love never fails....whoever keeps my commandments loves me....love covers all offenses....God's steadfast love endures forever....because He loved us He sent His son to die for us....we ought to love our neighbor as we do our self....and it gives us a blue print for brotherly love and marital love....and then I found it....

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  
I Corinthians 13:13

The dictionary defines faith as complete trust or confidence in someone or something, and hope as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. These are both essential in living a life of peace.  There are so many things we will never understand this side of heaven.  Faith and Hope are what get us up every morning and carry us through difficult times. Why does God tell us love is greater than these two essential components of life?  Look at the definition of love from Webster's Dictionary.

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.^[1] Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".^[2] Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.^[3]



Without love there is no hope or faith. How can we truly live a life of complete confidence or expectation that good will prevail if we don't love in action and deed?  I'm a little teary eyed on this one tonight. There is so much ugliness and so much pain in the world where people selfishly tear apart others.  If just one more person could grasp the love of God and pass it on...then that's two people who understand the love of God.  They pass it on and that's three people... and so on.

The love of God in us is an action. The more we pass it on....the more the message of a life of freedom in Christ is demonstrated to the world!  I don't know about you, but I'm done living a life of selfish love.  I often lose hope, and my faith is sometimes weak; but when you take them away I want to be left with love.  I want to live in the freedom to love others as I want to be loved.

Leave a legacy of love.  Love your children, love your spouse, love your family, love your friends.   Put healthy boundaries around your heart to protect the devil from robbing you of joy.  He can't take God's love from you, but He can stop you from giving it away! 

I will bend but I won't break...

You've often heard, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." When we are going through a tough time we often hate hearing that message because we do feel like we are dying.  In the middle of a tough time there really doesn't seem to be a way out.  We often wonder how long will this last, and will I survive?

Pain associated with things out of our control can seem unbearable to say the least.  Grief over loss of a loved one or unexplained tragedy is on a different level of healing then I am talking about here, but also has some similarities.  If you are experiencing grief of any kind that is causing you depression to the point of interfering with your normal routines, I encourage you to seek help from your Church, counselor or medical doctor.

Strain on relationships, divorce, an extreme workload, difficult children or disappointing teens can cause anyone to "lose it."  When there isn't enough money to pay the bills and work is hard to find, carrying responsibilities alone may send us to a breaking point.  There are counselors and medical help for sure, but I want to give you additional hope!  If you have ever gone on a diet or started working out after long periods of rest or never before...then you have experienced temporary pain for long range benefits.  The last few weeks I've been moaning and complaining over my achy muscles from working out.  Just this morning I noticed I could use less effort to get through my routine, and I might actually be seeing some improvement(a little cheer accepted..lol).  So, I increased my intensity a little.  I can handle more than I could just 3 weeks ago.  Exercising and eating differently does bring temporary discomfort, but knowing what you want the outcome to be....helps you get you closer to your goal, and makes it worth it! 

Take a minute to look at the difficult circumstance you are dealing with in this same way.  You may not know what the end result will be, but you can know that it has to be better than what you are experiencing right now...God does promise us He will not give us more than we can handle...He will walk beside us...and He will provide a way out!  One of my favorite scriptures is I Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."   What a promise! I love it! 

As much as we dislike that little saying at the beginning of this page....it is true....this struggle will make you stronger and instead of killing you, it will provide a platform for you to help others in the future....I read this quote. posted by a friend, on Facebook this morning, "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind..." I'm not sure where it originated from, but it rings some truth.  Being a critical thinker is important to wise decisions and problem solving, but when we worry or lament over our problems we stand in the way of the body healing itself naturally. 


Bending changes things...and change is hard at times, but it is needed to take you to a different place in life.  If you are feeling a little or a lot bent out of shape by all the dysfunction or issues you are facing... remind yourself daily that....You might bend, but you won't break!

Psalm 71:5 says: “For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence.”

Excited Misery

Excited misery is what I call..."happy living in drama."  I actually read several books years back on codependency that addressed this very topic. These books as well as my own life experience is where my thoughts are derived from. I am in no way shape or form living without any drama in my life, but I am learning to minimize it.

When is the last time you remember being in the middle of some one's drama?  Here are a few examples: Work: discussing favorites of the supervisor, gossip about lazy or inadequate employees, rumors of affairs within the workplace, criticism of what co-workers do on their days off...Friendships: talk of who's child is the instigator of all fighting and tattling...gossip about parenting and discipline skills...relationships you are trying to fix or break up...Family: hurt feelings of "he said, she said", money owed or "mine" mentality...I don't have to explain all of these for you to identify with something.  I'm sure you get it. 

If you feel like you are always living in drama you may have become comfortable living in excited misery.  You could be addicted to negative reality shows, soap operas, talk shows that are always unveiling paternity tests on air and more nonsense. If it's not your own personal drama it can make you feel alive and excited.  It gets you all worked up...a high emotional experience.  When there is no drama...you feel life is boring.  So, you may even make trouble for others and create the drama yourself.  On the other hand if it's your own drama you are living in...then you actually may be the unhealthy person at the moment.  I can relate.  I lived in drama many years...as I became more and more aware of the cycle I was living in...it was easier to recognize and replace the drama with healthy choices and behavior.

Many people have lived a life of drama for so long that it has become all they know.  As a child they lived in an angry, abusive or neglectful home.  They learned how to cope in this environment and so it became their norm.  Others lived in a marriage or relationship that was unfaithful, argumentative, complacent or manipulative.  They learned to define how they were loved by this behavior, and now the way they love others is through this same excited misery.  You have often heard that we treat the ones closest to us in the worst of ways.  I believe there is truth to that.  We know what to expect in the climax of the situation...and we survived, so we feel comfortable there.  Regardless of whether it is  healthy for us...we often stay for a long time... because what we know somehow seems better than what we fear.  Fear is the absence of faith.  When you put your trust and faith in God and realize He has an abundant life for you the more the fear will disintegrate.  You will then be willing to step out of your comfort zone into the unknown.  The sooner you replace the drama with a life of peace, the sooner you will find you can get excited by healthy choices.

Having a job you love and being in relationships that are healthy will give you the freedom to say, "no" to unhealthy people. The more you do this the more the life of peace becomes your norm. You will begin to recognize unhealthy people that need to be kept at a distance.  You have the right to expect good things and appropriate behavior from others, but to expect healthy behavior from unhealthy people is futile. It is ok to let go!

I love Albert Einstein's definition of  insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You become like the people you spend the most time with.  If you have children and you are allowing them to see you model this unhealthy drama then they will repeat the same pattern.  Life is too short and it's uncertain how many days we have on earth.  Live them with the excited expectancy of love, joy and peace.

Nervous Anxiety

Do you ever get nervous?  How about anxiety....does it creep up on you at times?  Well, I must say, I struggle with both.  But, I have learned to recognize the signs and quickly implement some strategies to bounce back and retrieve my focus.  As I was on google looking up definitions of anxiety I read in Wikipedia that anxiety is a displeasing feeling of fear or concern.  It is a normal reaction to stress and it can actually help a person deal with a demanding situation by prompting them to deal with it.  Now, that is a positive spin on what I would have called a negative emotion! 

When I am anxious my nervous system goes nuts.  I eat too much or not enough, and I can't focus on my work or personal responsibilities.  I don't know whether I am coming or going, and I seem to talk in circles about my problems.  Can you relate?  I feel all out of wack because I am....I am not living in peace or where God intended for me to be at that moment.  I am allowing a situational problem or person I don't have control over to determine my emotions.  Scripture tells us in I Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. We don't have to carry our burdens alone. We can verbally hand them over to the Lord.  The anxiety is there to get your attention...to prompt you to deal with the problem.  What better way to deal with a problem then to get rid of it...give it to God.  Let Him orchestrate the universe...let Him move the mountains...let Him perform the miracles needed to get you the perfect job, to deal with your spouse, to shed light where there is untruthfulness and to "right" the "wrongs" done to you.  I struggle with anxiety just like you do...relationships, "lack of" mentality, parenting decisions, work related stresses....well, just life in general!  In cases related to anxiety disorders individuals can even become sick mentally, physically and spiritually.  Anxiety can immobilize you or propel you forward. 

Watch for signs and learn ways to work through it.  Here are a few things that work for me:  Call a trusted friend...speak honestly about your anxiety and leave it there...build a safe relationship that allows you to vent and move forward. Turn on encouraging and upbeat music. Workout, preferably with a friend.  Eat a healthy meal. Take a break from routine and go somewhere different. Shop within your budget. It may just be to the grocery if you enjoy that.  For me a new pair of shoes works every time.  You know I had to throw that in there!  Go to your favorite coffee shop or bookstore.  And, lastly help someone.  Visit them, volunteer your time for them, or even bless them with a gift. 

The important thing is not what you do but that you recognize your anxiety and find a positive outlet to restore your spirit and be sure to leave your request with God. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6) As an adult you are already aware that each day will present a new set of problems, so no need to carry yesterday's stresses into today.  Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Next time you deal with nervous anxiety look at it as an opportunity to unload that burden and move on.  You weren't meant to carry it!

Delete

When I delete something from my computer it means it no longer has value to me.  I have no use for it.  Webster’s dictionary defines it as “to eliminate especially by blotting out, cutting out, or erasing.  We live in a world where deleting is easy.  It is a click of a button on your keyboard, a swipe of an eraser on the white board or paper.  We can white out, crumble up and throw away, or even shred documents in the blink of an eye.  Voicemail, and text messages disappear with the touch of our finger.  

As I recall the day I stood before the judge to end my marriage commitment, I could hear words like dissolve and nullify and see words on paper such as render, void and repeal.  All of these words were so easy and quick to use but held such permanent powers.  All I could do was cry.  The vow I had made before God and witnesses the day I was married was only to be destroyed by death.  Now, it was being wiped clean by written and verbal words of obliteration.  Dissolving my marriage was a negative experience to say the least, but when I began to look at the freedom that it afforded me, I was able to realize the power that those words carried was not all negative or permanent.   

When we remove hardware from our computer or overloaded emails from our inbox our computer begins to work faster and at its’ intended speed.  When we erase hurtful words or actions from our memory we are able to replace them with words of joy and positive experiences.  For some of us we are now able to now work faster, better, and with our intended talents. 

Take an inventory of the experiences from your marriage that you need to delete.  Blot out the arguing, hurtful words, breakdowns in communication, and acts of rudeness or selfishness, and begin saving a file of the great memories:  the fun vacations, the birth of children, the milestones reached, and any early marriage experiences that brought you joy.  Dissolving your marriage does not delete the good memories that you have.  No one can take those from you.  Hold on to them and share them with your children.  Allow yourself to be blessed by the joys you once had in your marriage, and freely use the accessible delete button to get rid of the pain and experiences that keep you tied to past failure.  Also, there is no need to keep the trash file filled and overflowing so that you can look through what you already discarded.  Doing so will keep you living in the past and unable to see the future ahead.

Be careful that you don't throw valuable memories in the shred pile because of your hurt feelings.  I got rid of some keepsakes because at the time I thought it would erase the pain and constant reminder of what I had lost.  I thought they had no value to me anymore.  But, I found later that I had wished I saved them for my children.  In getting rid of them, I was throwing away some of the few good memories I really wanted to keep.  Just while I was typing this page my 8 year old daughter was digging through a drawer where she found a framed wedding picture.  She said, “Hey mom, can I please wear this dress when I get married?  It's so pretty.”  Am I ever glad I didn’t sell it when it was listed on ebay!

In one sense, it can be impossible to truly forget or selectively "delete" events from our memory.  But, the Bible tells us that God does not "remember" our sin (Hebrews 8:12). God is all-knowing.  God knows that we have sinned and fallen short of His glory. (Romans 3:23).  However, He treats us as if the sin had not ever occurred.  God does not hold our sins against us.  In that same sense when we forgive ourselves and our ex-husband, we must act as if that sin had never occurred. We remember the sin, but we live in the future as if we did not remember it. We use the delete button.

Dawn

When I say, "Dawn", I immediately think of two ideas that have been life changing for me:  The first is a phrase I told myself for many years in order to get through one more night of loneliness and hurt.  That phrase is, “Joy comes in the morning.”  It comes from the Psalm of David Chapter 30 verse 5.  Just stop right now and take a moment to look up that entire chapter and read it..... 

The evenings can often bring arguments after the kids are asleep, loneliness if your spouse doesn’t come home early, or rejection if you don’t talk or touch when you go to bed.  Once you are divorced the emptiness can be overflowing, the nights can seem quiet for lack of stressful conversations, and the bed, well, if you’re lucky, a child or pet might curl up next to you.  Because of these struggles, I wanted to fill each day with joy because the dread of my night was coming.  The promise of Psalm 30 was my strength.  The second thought that comes to mind is the following poem which reminded me daily that I would learn....I would grow....and I would be o.k.  Since I wasn't happy where I was,  I was focusing on where I was going.  "With every goodbye you learn."

Comes The Dawn 

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

Doctor

My daughter went through several childhood years of screaming every time we took her to the Doctor.  I don’t mean she was just upset and crying...I would describe it as full fledged terror to the point of making herself stop breathing.  I would literally drag her into the pediatricians’ office kicking and screaming.  Her physical didn’t fair much better.  She refused to get undressed and wear the paper gown or even stay on the examine table. I had to hold her down, and often times she worked herself up so much that she would throw up.  I remember feeling like such a horrible mother as I received looks that said, “What are you doing to your child”, or looks from our doctor that said, “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life.”  Maybe you have a child like that...I sure hope I wasn't the only one...I am pleased to report that she grew out of it with lots of prayer and encouragement.  Although, our entire family now avoids doctor appointments when at all possible, my little girl did grow up to figure out her fear and face it. 

For many years I took routine exams, pediatric appointments, well and sick child visits and occasional trips to the emergency room for granted.  We never had any life threatening episodes, but a few casts and stitches were among those trips. We had insurance and enough money to cover the co-pays and deductibles. Years later, self-employed, divorced, and without insurance, doctor visits took on a whole new light.  We avoided the doctor, not because of anxiety this time, but because of the lack of funds to pay for the visits.  “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” held a whole new meaning. We started taking vitamins and becoming more “germ” conscious. We took better care of ourselves to avoid the doctor, and we began learning healthy home remedies for many conditions.

Maybe you can relate to having a child with a fear of the doctor or not being able to pay for medical visits. You may be a step ahead of where I was and already take good care of your body and find natural ways to restore yourself to health.  No matter what the doctor represents to you, Scripture reminds us that God is the great physician. The name given to Him is Jehovah Rophi, God who heals.  During Jesus ministry on earth He went about healing every kind of sickness and disease among the people.  He did this in order to show them His power to forgive sins.  He says in Isaiah 53 verse 4 that He bears our grief and our sorrows.  Jesus has paid the ultimate price for our sin, including those related to divorce. (make sure you get that deep in your soul)  He has already taken on himself the grief and pain of your divorce.  He has promised to heal you.  Accept Him as Lord and Savior of your life and call to him when you are hurting.  He will heal you.  Psalm 30:2, “O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.”

When your children are sick and you are worried for them, you take them to the pediatrician whom you trust for medical advice and care. When you are afraid or sick because of your divorce, take yourself to the “great physician” and ask for His help.  It is free, and He promises to give it to you.  There is hope for your future. Your diagnosis is not fatal, in fact, you have been given a new lease on life and the days ahead are brighter! 

Don’t be afraid of the “doctor” like my daughter was. Trust Him fully to lead you in the right direction and prescribe “new life” abundant and free. "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  Ephesians 2:10