Boundaries with Kids

I just finished reading this book and I want to take a moment to recommend it to you.  Do you have children who push the boundaries you have set for them all the time?  Or, do you have trouble deciding what the boundaries should be?  I have always known that children need boundaries in order to be safe and feel secure.  The area where I have struggled is setting the appropriate boundary for each child during different phases of their life...and implementing the appropriate consequence for crossing that boundary.  I found this book helpful in identifying the character traits of my children and understanding  what types of actions are needed for each of them.  It helped me understand how important boundaries are and how destructive life can be without them. 

We all have had struggles in our life and have learned valuable lessons from them.  When we use these experiences to set boundaries for our children we show them how much we love them.  While we can not and should not save our child from all the challenges of life, we can spare them some of the pain we endured by setting appropriate boundaries.  Think of it like building a platform for your child to "start" life on where you "left" off.  In other words, you are setting your child up to "succeed in" and "experience life" in far greater ways than you have already!  This is a gift.  When you look at disciplining your child or setting healthy boundaries for them as a "gift" for their future...you will be able to endure the challenges your boundaries create...even when it seems your child is not cooperating.  It is not easy to set boundaries and enforce them.  But, when you see the fruit of your labor as your children grow into responsible young adults...you will look back and be glad you did!

If you believe that your goal is to prepare your child for the future...whatever that may hold...and teach them to be contributing, responsible adults...then you must set loving, on purpose, restricting, yet freeing boundaries for your child.  You can get ideas on how to do this more effectively when you read Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsends' book Boundaries with Kids.  Just click on the book or the link below to order your copy today!

Foundation of Hope

I have decided to reveal parts of a true story in order to help you think about the reality of what goes on within the lives of others, and with the hope that it will cause you to think about your own life as it relates to this couples' story.  My friends names have been changed for their privacy. And the photo is not of the family depicted in this writing.

Jill and Mike were just in their 20's when they fell in love and decided to get married. Jill had found her dream life. They moved into a beautiful home and she decided to get a part time job in order to decorate her new house with whatever her heart desired. Mike had a great job, so all other needs and bills were covered by his income. The couple got pregnant within the first few months of marriage and "baby boy" was on his way. Jill assumed the role of wife and mother like a pro. Shortly after their little son was born, Jill discovered her husband, Mike, had been unfaithful. The pain was increased by the unfolding knowledge that the affair was while she was carrying their son. And, to make matters worse the other woman was her friend.

It took stages of anger, grief, bitterness and resentfulness before Jill could even go to counseling and reach out for some help.  After an extended period of time they both decided to give their love another chance. Once the couple worked through the hurt and extended grace and forgiveness, baby two was on her way. Jill, still a very young mom and wife, wanted nothing more than to please her husband. She began changing her outward appearance with makeup, a new hair style, a breast augmentation, and a completely new style of dress...all to become more appealing to her husband...or at least that was her intent.

The events that unfolded in the next 10 years were a constant roller coaster of highs and lows in their relationship. Jill and Mike had yet a third baby, separated, and finally divorced. They both filled their time with one new sexual partner after another, and Jill even had to begin working full time while paying for childcare and living in an apartment on the not so nice part of town. She experienced many financial hardships and broken relationships. Mike seemed to have a pretty good life...single man, nice home, comfortable money and pretty women. Until one day, Jill received a call that Mike had taken his own life. Friends and family, baffled by his choice, began to uncover the life of a man who was enslaved by empty dreams. He tried to portray the "American Dream" on the outside: good job, financial freedom, beautiful family, and a nice home. But, he was chasing after "something" more on the inside and turned to a secret life in the fast lane at night. He came up empty and with no hope. It wasn't Jill who didn't meet his needs, and it wasn't Mike who made Jill feel the need to change.  They both began searching for a hope that would fulfill the secret longings in their heart.  It is possible if they had shared these longings with one another and surrendered their will to the love of Christ....things could have unfolded differently. I do know Mike attended Church faithfully, so I can only pray that at some point in his life he asked Jesus to save his soul. Jill only attends Church on occasion and  lives with her current boyfriend. I don't know the condition of her heart today or the level of her peace, but these are some things I have learned as I observed and talked with her some years ago.

1. People do not set out with the intent to destroy their life.
2. When we do not guard our hearts and minds we become desensitized to the consequences of sin.
3. Put your trust in God because man will disappoint you!
4. It is not someones' job to make us happy. Joy comes from a thankful heart and peaceful soul.
5. Vanity creeps up on us, produces selfishness and can lead to affairs.
6. Guard your own heart because out of it flows everything you do. (Proverbs 4:23)
7. Be kind to others, forgiving others, loving them and directing their thoughts to things of God.
8. People who put on a great outward appearance may be dying on the inside.
9. Forgiveness , Grace and Mercy do follow us all the days of our life...but you cannot escape the consequences of habitual sin forever.
10. Our hope is built on nothing less then Jesus blood and righteousness.  All other attempts are fatally futile.

"The Solid Rock" ~ by 4 Him

Love this version of one of my favorite childhood hymns still embedded in my heart today!

If you want it you must ask for it.

If you want freedom you must ask for it. This could mean freedom from an addiction of drugs, alcohol or sex...maybe freedom from past hurts, failures or unhealthy relationships. If you want love you must ask for it. It doesn't matter who you are...everyone needs more love...to know the love of God, to feel the love of your spouse, to enjoy the love of your children.  Our hearts always have room for more love. If you want peace you must ask for it. How many times is your spirit in turmoil over a decision that you must make...a decision that no one else can make but you...and you don't have peace?  Perhaps your home or work place lacks peaceful conversation.  Possibly you should just start by asking that your joy be fulfilled! Whatever it may be, fill in the blank... and speak it out loud. I want_________!

We spend much of our time wishing others will fulfill our needs, or even expecting God to meet them, but we have never really taken the time to ask for (out loud) what we want. Asking involves the risk of being told "no", or feeling foolish for our request.  Why is that such a bad thing?  If we are told no by God...wouldn't that be for our best interest and therefore we should be thankful?  If  we ask for a raise and we are told "no"  does it leave us further behind?  Or, does it show us that maybe there is something more we could be doing, and the job we have is not paying us what we are worth? When you tell your spouse you "need" more of them in a certain area...you have nothing to fear...if it is their desire for a better relationship...asking will move you forward.  It will open the floodgates for what has been left unsaid.  Don't be afraid.  And, don't become complacent...meaning you have asked before and have not received...therefore, you give up.  Persistence is a form of confidence, and sometimes we must continue to ask until the desires of our heart line up with the plans God has for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Gospels, as well as the Old Testament, are flooded with verses that remind us to ask if we want to receive.  Take a moment and do an online search of scriptures with the word "ask" in it...Some verses refer to asking for salvation and the forgiveness of our sins, some refer to asking for the desires of our heart, others teach us to ask for healing and help on the behalf of others, but the idea the Lord is trying to get across to us is this: if we ask not; we have not!  Asking leads to blessing! He may not grant us our entire list...but He does promise to give us what is good for us!

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”    (Luke 11:9-12)

If you are married and think anything like me...there are times you expect your spouse to know what makes you upset, and beyond that...what to do to fix it. We expect them to know when we want physical touch, words of praise, when we need to be left alone, or when they should be spending time with us. When you think honestly about that...it is absurd!  I can't possibly know when to do that for my husband...so, why do I think he should know when to do it for me?  Maybe the answer is, at times, I measure him according to the wrong standard.  I begin the game of comparison and blame. Can you relate?  Hmmm...Your spouse married you for what you add to their life. Without you they were missing something. Together you could do more good than apart. Go back to adding to their life in order to be fulfilled in your own. To me that is simple, yet what we resist the most. Selfishness is often the root of many of our struggles. Don't wait for someone to know what you need or for that matter what you want.  Ask for it! 

Love gives out of the abundance of the heart.  When selfishness sets in, we stop giving and start expecting to receive.  Now don't get me wrong.  It is important in a relationship to reciprocate love in all 5 forms: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service and the giving of gifts.  But, when we intentionally hold these back in order to "make" our point or guilt the other person into doing what we want them to do...we are only increasing our chances of depression. And, we will come up empty handed. Relationships at any level, beyond that of an acquaintance, take intentional effort.  We must speak clearly about how we feel concerning all things such as: finances, acts of service, ethics, morals, parenting, and even time spent together.  Any area of life that affects your relationship is worthy of conversation.  When you  admit your feelings of hurt, fear, want, jealousy, need, lack of joy or passion...you are not accusing the other person of not fulfilling this void...instead you are recognizing it and sharing it with the person who loves you most.  Once you do this it is important to ask for what you want.  Those who are closest to you may have had an idea you were unhappy, frustrated or depressed, but they had no idea how to help or "fix it."  You understand yourself better than anyone, and you know what you need. You can ask for it.  I believe when you communicate with others and with God in your prayers...in an out loud fashion...you will come to a realization of whether what you want is based out of an insecurity, desire, selfishness or need.  No matter the root...you allow others to understand how you are wired, and together you can meet each other at the point of your need.

I encourage you today to be brave and ask your spouse what you want from them.  Be confident and raise the bar with your children...ask of them what you want.  Go boldly to the throne of Grace and ask God for the desire of your heart. Asking will lead to blessing and when you ask allow yourself to be changed by the outcome!

The Unmarked Door

Do you ever wish you could be on a game show and be the player who gets to choose what is behind Door #1, Door #2 or Door #3?...Oh, the thrill of what awaits you on the other side is exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time!  What if you pick the wrong one?  You just might get the amazing knife set behind the door you choose...while the other two have trips of a lifetime, a brand new car or even a cash prize!  That would stink!

In my past, I have had choices that were clearly marked as to what was inside, and I still made the wrong pick...please tell me you can relate?  The good news is...our life really isn't a lottery like that...we make good and bad choices just the same, but ultimately it's not left up to fate...we can design the life we live, and we do have the freedom to choose the path we take. Our life direction is often formed by the influence of the people we let in or keep out.

I recently stopped in to visit with my pastor, and for whatever reason, was intrigued that his office door was unmarked....no "pastor's study" or name plate mounted on the outside...just a plain brown door.  I did find him on the other side in a beautifully decorated office:)  I made a joke about the "top-secret" man behind the unmarked door, and...yes...he figured I might write a story about it...I couldn't resist.

Our lives can often reflect that unmarked door.  People see us on the outside and form opinions by what they see, but they truly have no idea what is on the inside until they are invited in.  For all I knew, there was a janitor's closet behind that plain brown door! (lol)  I will be the first to say, that I often make assessments about what I see before I have more information.  I think that is normal for most of us.  Based on our life experiences we filter our belief system or judgements by what we see first.  We must be very careful to quickly dismiss these opinions and have an open heart and mind until we are "invited in."  When we do this we allow ourselves to experience life and live life more abundantly through our relationships with others.

Life is, certainly, about building relationships with other people.  As you create these relationships you will either "build" others up or "tear" them down.  They can be encouraged or left feeling less than what God created them to be.  We are all guilty of speaking before we truly think about the effects our words will have on others.  We can apologize, but our words linger in the hearts of others long after we are gone.  To truly live out our potential we must invite others into our life and at times keep some people out. 

The visual picture of my pastors' unmarked door appealed to me because it reflected choice...in our personal life we choose who comes in and who stays out...I have often heard it said that we become like the five people we hang around the most...I do believe there is truth to that. The people that we spend the most time with have a great deal of influence on our thought process and our actions. Evaluate who you are spending the most time with, and see if they line up with the direction of God's desired life for you. That is an important step in freedom from other peoples' choices.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

I have decided to make a conscious effort not to judge what I see on the outside...until I am "invited in."  And, even then...judgment is not my job.  I can form opinions and preferences to create my circle of influence, but that is all.  If you struggle with building positive relationships with others...you may want to open your "unmarked door" and invite a few people in to take a closer look.  It does expose you to vulnerability at times and maybe even some criticism, but if you choose wisely who you will bring inside...you just might find that what you pour into the lives of others will come back into your own. We need people to help us where we are weak and others need our help where we are strong.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a

You will also find that in order to feel "freedom" to live as God intended...you must be truthful, honest and pure in all your intentions. In this day in age, I personally feel it is difficult for people to be honest with themselves...let alone with others.  Fear of ridicule, judgement, or lack of receiving love  may stand in the way.  Low self-image often plays a role as well.  Sometimes we even feel a little bit safer behind an unmarked door.  Maybe in the past we have let too many people in and received more criticism than encouragement.  Whatever the reason that causes dishonesty in your life...it will hold you captive and in bondage to your own freedom.  Begin by speaking truth to yourself and others, and pray for people to come into your life to support your vision. And...every chance you get...pour life giving words into others. Because, life is full of love, joy and peace when you live cautious...yet free!

Present Circumstances

"Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

If we could grasp a hold of this idea we might all just be a little more positive about life in general.  I think it's easy to look back on our past or take inventory of our present situation and get discouraged.  We may not like where we  have been...or where we are now, but we don't have to stay in either place. The problem is that most of us can't see how to change it.  It is also easy to fall in the trap of believing that success is for the chosen few.   But, really it is for all who choose!

It could be that a certain friend is successful because his parents had enough income to help him buy a car and go to college.  Maybe a lucrative business was handed down to a young man, and he had a ready made platform of clients to build on.  We often hear of athletes whose parents were athletes, preachers who come from dynamic fathers in the ministry, nurses and doctors who send their children into the medical field, farmers who teach their sons the the trade of agriculture, mother's teaching their daughters life skills...the list is endless.  I think it's honorable and downright rewarding for parents to pass on their knowledge, skills and influence to their children...if their child has grown to love the same line of work.  But, what if you weren't so fortunate?  No trade was  passed on to you...your parents were middle class or even poverty stricken...maybe, you did not have parents around to influence you at all?  This should not stop you from dreaming.  God has planted a skill, a talent, a desire and the tools to complete them in your very being.  If you will flip the coin and look at your starting point as an advantage instead of a disadvantage you will be the next great success story! It's an advantage because the measurement is by your desire only.

Success is not measured by what you accomplish or how much money you make.  It is not even measured by how you start.  Look at all the celebrities...lives of fame, fortune and success...but most remembered by the love they gave and the lives they touched.  Success is in the legacy you leave when your days on earth come to an end. You may need to start from scratch or be resourceful.  And, if you need to increase your energy level...begin with changing your diet and exercise.  Don't be afraid to work a little harder then you think others do, or even save a little more and spend a little less.  In the long run you will influence more people and become more skilled then you ever would have if your life were "just a little easier."

You have the ability to leave a gift to this world and to your children. You have the right to make a difference in history.  In fact, no matter how insignificant you think your existence might be...you are a part of making history and you were most certainly created to bring glory to the Creator himself!  You must believe in yourself or others will not. You are building a platform for your children to begin their legacy on.  They will soar higher because of your hard work.  Don't give up on your dream because it looks impossible.  Stop looking back...you are not going that way.  Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be...because you only have one life to do all the things God planted in your "hearts' desire" and ability to do.  Along the way, you will experience trials, sorrows, happiness, and love. It will all be a part of defining who you become and what you leave behind.  Don't let your present circumstances consume you to the point of no productivity.  You have a great deal to offer the world around you.  Start today...making a difference...for tomorrow! Your past didn't define you...it refined you.  Your present circumstances are just where you begin...and your future depends on you...I can't wait to see where you finish!

Whatever you do...just don't panic...there is hope for your future and with that hope comes peace!

Vows to Volcanic Eruption

In a second marriage there is little time for a honeymoon. Most couples jump right into family life full of children, challenges, financial woes and drama that already existed before their love was born.  I don't even want to know the rate of divorce for second marriages. I will not be included in that one. So, how do blended families survive chaos? (We plan to laugh a bunch, drink a lot of coffee and red wine and escape now and then...haha)

Well...I am glad to report I haven't experienced any real "volcanic eruption" since I said "I do", but I have heard a few stories of the challenges some families face when they merge two very different sets of circumstances together. I have been asked several times to give my thoughts on blending families in a second marriage.  While I can not give any physiological insight or even stories from years of personal experience, I can give you some thoughts from the "good intent" of my heart.  Ask me in a couple of months or few years down the road...and I may have an entirely different answer...lol...but so far, so good.  Actually, I should just be claiming victory in the name of Jesus...knowing this was His plan to begin with.  I keep pinching myself and thanking God daily for His gift of restoration in my life!  No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes along the way. Praise God...He is faithful to complete the "perfect work" He started in us!

Having only been married just over two weeks now...I am hardly an expert, so this is more like journaling on the topic rather than solid reasoning...Here is what I do believe.  When you remarry and bring your children together under the same roof it is important to treat them in the ways you always have and accept your children right where they are in their stages of development.  Life doesn't always afford us "comfort to change" on our own time frame.  However, we can be in tune to the love language of our children and help them to adjust within their comfort level. There may be changes you would like to make as a couple in raising your new family together. You can begin praying and sharing parenting ideas, in private, to help each other become the best parent possible. When you love one another with all your heart it is easy to love each others' children just the same. They are an extension of the one you love.  Being sensitive to the changes everyone must face is key, but being careful not to draw attention to negative behavior is, also, critically important. (We all get a little jealous of time spent with others now and then...it's actually endearing, I think) There is some truth in what you ignore will go away...not always...don't get me wrong...I am not advocating lack of consequences for disobedience...but, there are times that a child will take attention even if it's in a negative form. When that negativity doesn't get them the desired attention...it goes away on its' own.  I do believe that love conquers all and will indeed win in the end.  God gave you a second chance on love, and He will provide peace for your family. Be patient. When your children see the respect and love you and your spouse share it will be easier for them to come together and enjoy the journey. Solicit advice and helpful ideas from trusted friends.  There are many good sources available on the topic, too. Don't force what should come naturally. It is obvious when it is not working naturally.  I have already watched my own children go through changes in just a few weeks...changes of healing and hope for a brighter future.

We have encouraged our children to write out their thoughts and have shared with them that they are not being replaced in our hearts by our love for each other. We have been careful to keep to our same routines so that everyone feels comfortable. Making positive that they know...that neither parent takes the place of their own mother or father...has been part of our reassurance that they are secure. Sharing with them the joys of opening their heart to new and exciting experiences will create a safe and confident place for them to grow and learn to extend love to others. I also think much more is caught than taught. For adults, as well as kids, no matter how hard we try...sometimes our feelings just don't line up with what we know.  I so appreciate my husband for his quiet, peaceful love, respect, and admiration for me and for my girls. His wisdom and discernment encourage me daily. This type of example provides steady reinforcement of healthy relationships within our family.  If one parent is overbearing or has unrealistic expectations of the children it is harder for them to work through the change.

I believe children want the "family unit" back in tact...maybe it wasn't ever "in tact" to begin with, and they are searching for what they have never experienced.  Either way, it is natural to resist what you don't know but yet desire to have. Again, be patient. God is in the business of miracles, and when your heart is in line with His...He will show you great and mighty things!  It is safe to say that both you and your new mate are desiring a "fresh start." This fresh start covers more than just the way you are loved and show love.  I imagine, like me, you desire changes in your family, finances, spiritual walk, emotional and even physical health.  When you walk away from unhealthy patterns of the past you will naturally avoid "volcanic eruption" in your home because you are headed toward peace and away from drama.  Now, just because you steer clear of "volcanic eruption" in your home doesn't mean your family blending won't cause some explosion in those around you.  In this case...prayer and more prayer.  Not everyone will come on board or even be willing to support you.  Some people are definitely in your life for a season.  When the seasons change, so do people.  Life certainly isn't always easy and some decisions are tough to make.  When you find a partner whom you love and is willing to take their life journey with you...even the tough stuff seems a lot more bearable!  When discipline, parenting, dealing with ex-spouses or finances get sticky...remember to talk through everything, pray without fail and love one another every step of the way.  The problems of today are often replaced by new problems of tomorrow.  It's all in how you handle them that makes the difference.  When you say, "I do"....for the second time it often brings a whole new meaning to "death do us part."   For me...my past circumstances have created a deeper level of commitment than I ever knew possible. Hardship does make you stronger, wiser and more able to love those around you...if you let it.

 The Vow...great movie!

I vow to not only face but receive anything in this world with a belief that God has a purpose for it, faith that I will survive it, hope that life will become brighter and a love that overlooks wrong, transcends time and runs deep in my soul.

Just for fun...a great family fun series!

A True Cinderella Love Story

Even Cinderella had some obstacles to finding her Prince. There was the "day in and day out" of endless chores in which she whistled while she worked and found simple joys in her little world. She had to face the wicked words of her stepmother and jealous schemes of her step sisters.  Even the family cat didn't support her. From childhood we watch fairy tales of love unfold.  In Beauty and the Beast the heart of love won over what the eyes could not see. Thumbelina meets Prince Cornelius and shows us that if you follow your heart nothing is impossible. Undoubtedly, my favorite is the heroic story of Rapunzel. She was a stunning girl trapped in the jealous hands of a wicked woman. She fought through the web of deception and ultimately brought peace to those around her...and in so doing...she met a handsome Prince! Her helpful sidekick was less than confident but more than courageous! Sometimes fairy tales aren't just figments of our imagination; they are real life played out in the magical kingdom. Every little girl sits on edge as she watches the dramatic stories unfold, and in the end she wants to dress up just like the beautiful princess!



In light of scripture I sure do believe in magic of the heart and the magical kingdom.  Not only because I am experiencing it, but because I believe in the Spirit which comes from God the Father and lives inside those that love Him.  What we do for others does come back to bless us...not really a secret at all...pour into the lives of others, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and watch the God of creation pour out His love to you! Love never fails!
 
If you have been following my blog for any length of time I am sure you have picked up on the underlying theme of the "White Picket Fence." Everyone is in search of it this side of Heaven...the dream career, the dream man or woman to share life with...joys of children...the perfect house and amenities to go along with it. We begin our "dream life journal" as far back as our memory recalls. Unfortunately, when life happens and challenges come along we somehow find ourselves further and further from our white picket fence.  We lose all hope for a better tomorrow, we lack faith in God to keep His promises, and we trust people less and less.  When goodness and peace do come our way...we run from it...not on purpose...but because we are so comfortable living uncomfortably that the goodness of God feels foreign. We can't wrap our brain around the belief that we do deserve the grace and abundant blessings of God!  What is even more difficult then accepting His grace is changing our behavior in order to get different results. Taking a leap of faith in an unsure decision, changing careers, moving, disconnecting from unhealthy people, or "selling all we own"(maybe literally or maybe just figuratively) to give to the poor...just seems too disorderly and too radical.  The love of God is radical my friends.  He died for you!

He orders our steps when we are in tune with His desires.  We cannot comprehend the depth of His love that is why our heart is moved when our brain does not understand. The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Psalm 37:23

In response to my recent wedding announcement:

First of all thank you for your love, blessing for our future and encouraging words.  Chances are you have had a part in my life experiences, my joys, my sorrows and my healing.  I am ever grateful for you! Garett is a gift from God himself.  We met at Church...not of either of our seeking...but at the encouragement of a friend who was courageous enough to follow the stirring in her heart to "match up two people who were done "seeking on their own."  We both have stories of broken marriages that left us asking God "how much longer must we live this way." We have 7 children between us whom we love and cherish very much! Unlike my patient husband (so fun to say), I tried to help God out a little...yeah, I know what you are thinking, but you have put your hands in things before when you should have waited too...so hang with me a second...I thought if I didn't actively "search for someone"....certainly, he wasn't going to magically appear!  I had forgotten that fairy tales are really the magic God is in the business of doing.  Anyway, I had a few dating experiences since my divorce...all of which I am so thankful for.  It was through these men I was able to create my Prince Charming!  I learned what I needed, what I would respond to, and what I was able to give.  But, when you are 41 dating just isn't as fun as when you are young.  It's quite difficult to "hide" it from your children and even more difficult to involve them. Friends and family have their opinions as well.  Don't get me wrong...counsel is wise, and those who truly love you have your best interest at heart...but if you are not careful...you could be fulfilling another persons' "white picket fence" and not your own.   No matter which way you try, even with the best intentions, some people won't like the "change."  So, after a few tries I determined in my heart...I was done!  That is when God intervened.  I think he had a little compassion on me.

I truly believe it must have been at the same moment when Garett secretly asked God to bring him a wife because there was no way he could possibly go out into the world and find one on his own...and the moment I told God that I was done and resigned to the life of a single woman...that He orchestrated the events that would quickly unfold before our eyes and would leave no question that it was His doing to form our union.  This quote from Max Lucado sums it up. "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."


Each text, email, coffee, conversation, and dinner....seemed like we were in a time travel...forward to a wonderful journey of a lifetime.  There was no time to stop and share a play by play with everyone around us. I think we both knew from the moment we saw each other face to face...in that split second...something stirred...I still believe in love...the first look, first touch, first kiss were all as amazing...as I had ever hoped they would be!  I think we both felt like teenagers...lol...as all that had been dormant was now fully alive in both of us.  Garett...faithful in his first marriage...faithful to God and faithful to his children...hard worker and has a spirit of a saint...lol...because we all know he would need that in order to handle my strong will! He confessed to me that God actually "warned" him... she is a "strong" woman and different than anyone you are used to...haha...not sure I like admitting that...but it sure was funny!  My checklist was fully complete and all the "extras" were included as well.  Now, seriously, since I'm being honest...he is one sexy man!! He will probably kill me for publishing that....



This world won't stop throwing curve balls, and challenges and trials never seem to be on short order.  "Nay Sayers" are a dime a dozen...but what a feeling to live this side of Heaven with a friend, lover and loyal partner to help find peace amongst the storms and help each other live in freedom to experience their most "wild at heart" desire while making the world a little better when we leave it....Don't be mistaken...I'm still functioning in my financial, emotional, and physical realities, but some how pure bliss makes it all worth it...I am finally living inside my "white picket fence!"  Every day I feel like standing outside and twirling like a little girl and shouting with joy...it's the feeling of reckless abandon wrapped in common sense....a crazy gift of love sent from Heaven above! Love Wins!

And finally...I'm sorry for the men reading this...I just couldn't shorten it!  But, the women will want to know how the heck we pulled off a wedding in about 24 hours.  I can honestly say it was easy and peaceful.  Once I said "yes"....the rule was "no stress".....Our first choice was to run away to Italy... that was one reality we couldn't escape...not enough money!  First we secured our Pastor who performed the most precious little ceremony and even quoted from the book of Song of Songs.  I did not know that was his plan...but if you have followed my posts...I just discovered that scripture...some serious thrill traveled up my spine at that very moment. Then, we bought his shirt and ring the first day and my dress, jewelry and shoes the second day...simple and fun...I am not kidding...I walked into a couple of stores while Garett entertained our two youngest girls and within two hours had all I needed. Our two witnesses were the couple who brought us together, and they did an amazing job of capturing the moment on film.  We walked into the Franklin Park Conservatory (where we had taken our youngest girls the day before to see the butterfly exhibit)...paid to get in...we found the most beautiful spot to exchange our vows!  We could not have planned any of the events to unfold better than they did so naturally!

Having only told our children and a few close friends prior to our surprise....we were met with some disapproval, but felt more than confident that God's plan is way better than man's understanding...and because He was ordering our steps He would continue to bless the process. I suppose you can find more than one person you can live with in this world, but when you find the person you can't simply live without..."carpe diem."  A few close friends made sure to go the extra mile to help us enjoy our day and first night together.  We were blessed!!  Our plan is to celebrate with a reception in June for all of you.  It will be, not only a celebration of our love, but a party to celebrate God's gift of friends like you!




Here are the fairy tales for your little girls!

Finding God

Many people do not "find God" in their life until they are put through a major "fire."

The Bible often compares trials to that of a metal refiners' fire burning away impurities. The silversmith knows when the silver is pure when he can see his reflection in it. The Lord uses adversity to build our character. The Bible says we go through the same trials Jesus did when He walked the earth.  We experience loneliness, rejection, criticism, temptations, stress, grief, abuse and many more trials. It is really tough to see ourselves as a precious gem to others let alone to God when we are walking through hard times. Even the best visionaries of the day can't see too far past their own circumstances.  A quote from author Rick Warren says, "What happens outwardly in your life is not as important as what happens inside you."  When you are changing on the inside you will know it. It might not feel the greatest at the time, but when you get to the other side you will be able to look back and see how all things...ugly as they appeared...were working together for your future good.  Baking ingredients eaten separately may not be that tasteful, but mix them together and you have a delicious treat as your end result.

Don't give up, remember God's plan is for your good, don't become bitter...become better...rejoice and give thanks for where you are headed.  Surround yourself with those who will build you up and strengthen you. We serve a God of miracles, second chances, new birth, and healing.  Don't be afraid to be moved by your spirit...that is God within you. We may never understand this side of heaven all the intricate details of life, but I believe everything we experience has a spiritual significance. Seek counsel from those who have gone before and have experienced your pain...and from those whom you would gladly trade places. When you are serious about "finding God" in your life you will not be disappointed by His blessings! He will pour them on, and you will be overwhelmed by His goodness!

Letting Go

Well...I am certainly no expert on this topic, but I do have a few thoughts based on my life experience.  One of the toughest concepts for me to grasp in life is that of "letting go."  Some of you have it down perfectly, and you run the opposite direction at the first sign of unhealthy behavior in people around you.  I applaud you.  At the same time you may even frustrate yourself because you think you have let go...too soon...before letting God do a mighty work in the lives of those you love.

So, how do we know when to let go and when to hold on? It took me a long time to realize that God did not need me to hold on in order for Him to do His work.  I could completely let go, and He would rescue me. My holding on did not determine the outcome.  It only prolonged my blessing from being fulfilled. When God takes something from your grasp He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14


In order to let go we must forget what lies behind and press forward.  We may not understand God's purpose, but He exhorts us to lean on Him, and He will make our path straight.  He promises to give us a hope and a future.  Scripture is constantly charging us to trust the Lord and wait patiently on Him. But, how do we know when we are really trusting Him?  You will know in your spirit when the Lord is directing you.  You will not have peace when you are away from His plan.  Your spirit stirs when you're not walking in the right direction...Your soul rests when you are. I am guilty of trying to help the Lord. I want to do everything in a hurry. I create the blueprint, lay it out, and ask God to finish it.  How He must shake His head at all my plans!

Continue praying for peace and keep walking away from any unhealthy situation you may be in. Don't try to help God. Trust Him and agree that you will wait and watch for His plan to unfold. Promise Him that you will open up your hands and let go so that you are free to hold on to His promise...to restore you and to bless you exceedingly abundantly above what you could ask or think. Before you know it, you will be faced with a new life abundant and free. Old things will be past away and all things will be new.  Your fear will be replaced with trust, and your insecurities replaced with new hope.  I have discovered that letting go is the same as holding on.  When we let go we hold on to the promise and not the problem.  

Letting go sometimes causes grief and pain.  These can seem like permanent feelings, but they're not.  Once we feel them and release them we actually journey to a better place then where we started. Feeling is actually how we let go. Suppressing our feelings and holding them in only keeps us in bondage to the pain. This process can be intense...but peace, acceptance and a new beginning are on the other side.  There is nothing more exhilarating than a new beginning...a new lease on life.  Hold on...it's coming, and you will soon be able to live through the spirit inside you. You will be a force of love, joy and peace that is free to experience the world through God's eyes. It's time to let it go...It will be o.k.

Love Wins

It sure doesn't feel like love wins on most days.  If your life has been anything like mine in the past...it often seems like the one with the most money wins, or the person with the most clever scheme gets all the perks. Those who lie and deceive get all the love.  In sports it's those "dirty" players that come out on top. As far as politics are concerned, well, it sure looks like Satan wins. It's all who you know, how many lies you can tell, how many people you can pacify, or who you can pay off.  In families the children who scream the loudest and throw the most fits tend to get whatever they want.

I started to really examine this concept and it's no wonder we toss around the phrase..."if you can't beat 'em..join 'em. Culturally, when we look at the big scheme of things, if we think we can't make a difference in the outcome...we do nothing.  We let the ones with the biggest bank accounts and biggest mouths decide for us.  In relationships we sometimes take what is dished out...even if it's not good for us.  If we are not careful we become the same way.  We learn to lie, cheat, and deceive because it seems to work for everyone else.  It is often the accepted way of doing things.....even in the God's house...sad as it is...but even sinners go to Church!

When we live life with the philosophy that love is not enough to conquer all...then unforgiveness sets in. We become bitter at those who have mistreated us, and we are angry at those that seem to have blessings they don't deserve.  What we must understand is that in their hearts they are empty.  They are searching for the next "high." The greatest earthly "high" comes from love.  Love that only can be given by God himself.  Begin loving everyone around you with your whole heart, and trust God that He will teach you how to love more than you feel capable.  He has already given you complete forgiveness for your past present and future sins...extend that forgiveness to others, and watch how He brings a love greater than life itself into your heart....There is no time to sit around and try to figure out something that you will never understand away. Let it go and let love come back around again. I took this next paragraph from a friend...unedited...she sums it up perfectly....

 "Forgiveness won't change the past, but it has the ability to change the future." Anger hurts you more than the person you are angry with... So it's time to stop being angry and remember in the end...life is very short and Love Wins!

Renewed Hope

Can you think back on a time in your life where the world just seemed full of possibilities, and you were hopeful about the future events of your life?  For me this time was during my college days and those leading up to my first job and marriage.  I am sure I struggled with disappointments, rejection, heartache, and challenges, but I don't remember them.  Or, maybe I should say...I don't remember them stopping me from fulling my dreams. My focus was on what was available to me and where I was headed. 

Somehow the years from there to here gradually caused the hope to fade away.  Can you look back and relate?  Maybe, you landed your dream job.  And, one day you found yourself wondering if you would be there the rest of your life...little by little resentment began to set in.  Did you marry your best friend only to find out you really never knew them at all? Or, they fell short of your expectations.... Life continued to happen, and it just seemed you were digging a deeper hole.  At very best...you could get excited about someone else getting married, having a baby or celebrating a huge accomplishment.  But, you have given up the hope and joys of your life continuing in that same manner. 

The noun hope means a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. When you lose hope there is no longer an expectation for desirable things to happen. On the contrary, you begin to actually believe the opposite. You expect misery and defeat. You assume that life will never be joyful or full of hope again.

How can we change that thought process?  How do we renew our hope?  You know by now...I go to the scripture when I need answers, and one of my favorite verses is Isaiah 40:31..."But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Simply put...wait on the Lord for his help...put your trust in Him...the promise is you will be renewed. In scripture Hope is a confident expectation...a certainty that God will keep His promise and it's not merely something we "wish" to happen.

Hope does not allow us to escape reality or our problems. I know what your thinking...what does? Nothing does...we must deal with reality no matter how much we avoid it.  Hope changes how we view our circumstances and how we see ourselves in our reality.  Hope shows what we value in life. Hope gets us up every morning and gives us a plan.  It takes the pressure off.  It allows us to know God is in control.  So, if you have lost your hope...take some time to ask God to renew it.  Since I know that what God gives...He gives to all...and since He has renewed my hope...I know He will do it for you too.
 
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

There are so many great verses on hope in the Bible. Here are a few to get you started.  As you read, remember, no matter how impossible it looks...when you put your hope in the Lord and wait...yes...patiently...probably the hardest part...He is going to keep His promise. He will renew your joy and restore your strength. You might just feel like a soaring eagle...I don't know about you...but that excites my spirit!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, Whose hope is in the LORD his God; i.e., rather than man." Psalm 146:5

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him." Psalm 62:5

Stolen Dreams

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined.”(Thoreau) 

This may seem a little bit of a fairy tale thought to you, but in light of scripture we can have the desires of our heart when we trust God with them. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

As a child my dreaming consisted of Christmas toys and summer fun. As a teenager, I dreamed of my first dance and my first kiss.  As a young lady, my thoughts were consumed with the perfect career, Prince Charming and my white picket fence…As a woman, I have dreamed of a happy family, unconditional love and security. Our dreaming never stops.  I believe God has placed a vision in our hearts from birth to live a life full of fantasy, love and excitement.

Our imagination is active as a child and the more it is cultivated the more it grows. Each time our hunger is starved or our imagination is squelched by life experiences or negative people our dreams seem more and more unattainable…until one day we see no hope for our future at all.

 

Divorce is definitely a top dream stealer.  Have you ever had something physically stolen like a wallet or cell phone?  Don’t you feel violated? How dare someone take something that they didn’t earn or pay for… something that had a rightful owner already? When divorce robs you of your dreams you feel offended and violated in this same way.  You may even feel like your spouse destroyed your scrapbook…something you have invested time and energy in…you have rights to your things, your children, your lifestyle and your marriage.  Divorce, certainly, can feel like a violation of the life we "own."  It is only when we change our thought process to “God-ownership” that we can feel free. He owns our belongings. He owns our children. He owns our very life. We can stop getting angry at the dream stealer and ask God for a confidence to follow His direction…and once again make our path straight.

I want to encourage you today.  Even if divorce has robbed you of the life that you have known for years, you are allowed to start over.  From today on…you can begin a new scrapbook and add pictures of toys and vacations, dream homes, jobs and, yes, even Prince Charming!  No one can take away your gift to dream.  Dreaming allows us to hope again.  It allows us to put our energy toward goals that are healthy for us.  As a matter of fact, once you begin, you will realize that you can now dream even bigger than before.  You may be able to act on a fantasy from your youth that your marriage had put a stop to.  Maybe you have always wanted to paint, or write a book, take singing lessons, or finish your degree. You now have the freedom to go or do the things you were unable to do when you were busy surviving the hurricane that became your life.  Dreams give life.  Possibilities bring joy.

A book worth reading!

  Start making a new dream book today.  Map out what you want your life to look like in 6 months, a year and 5 years from now. Begin creating a new vision for your life and start making decisions to walk in the direction of that vision.  Divorce destroyed your first scrapbook, but gave you a reason to start a new one. Dream big this time...no holding back.  Ask God for exceedingly abundantly above what you can ask or think.  You are the only one limiting yourself to what can happen in your future. 

Romans 11:29 tells us that God’s gifts and his calling on our life are irrevocable…He still wants you to live out the desire of your heart. How do you know if the desire of your heart is God given?  When I researched the Hebrew meaning of “desires of our heart” I found that it simply means that He will add desires on our heart. When we make ourselves moldable and pliable we “delight” in the Lord…Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”…then He can equip us to endure any trial on the path to fulfill our purpose in life.......“May He give you the desire of your heart and make all you plans succeed.”  Psalm 20:4

Disaster

The dirty laundry was piled high in each bedroom and bathroom. There was a mound of clean laundry on the kitchen table. The dishwasher was broken and every plate, glass and utensil was caked with dried food and stacked all over the counter.  Dusting hadn’t happened in weeks, and the carpet was torn up and there wasn’t any money to replace it. Kids’ school books, toys, jackets, baby toys and junk were strewn everywhere.  My house was a disaster.  To make matters worse the dog tracked in paw prints, and I dropped the cereal box out of the pantry losing half of its’ contents on the floor because someone forgot to roll the bag inside. Do you know what I did? I dumped the rest of the box of cereal out on the floor and stomped all over it like a mad woman.  I had lost it.  Not only was disaster happening in my marriage, but it was spilling over in my home. Maybe you can relate. This was a reality in my life when I was going through my separation.

When your mind is so consumed with your pain and hurt you can't keep your house in order.  It is difficult to focus on a task long enough to complete it.  If things get way out of hand in your home you have to ask for help.  Professionals need to clean the carpets, painters need hired, a plumber is needed for the disposal (I tried to replace one on my own...not recommended...talk about disaster!!!), a lawn boy is required, and since the laundry was neglected it now takes days instead of hours to wash, dry, fold and put away. There is only one problem. You are beyond broke and do not have money to higher help.  So, your disaster continues to spread. When you have children and are going through a divorce everything is affected.  There is hope. You will survive.  And you will get your house and mind in order.

Divorce causes disaster to happen the same way within your very being.  Before long your emotions are in your throat 24/7, you get angry at everything your children do or don’t do, and you are not sure what you believe any more or even why you exist at all.  Your emotional disaster spreads, and sometimes you find it hard to get out of bed.  You need help.  Since funds are frozen or not even available during your divorce you will need to search elsewhere. Many Churches have divorce care groups, free counseling, and lots of willing servants. There are outreach ministries in your area willing to help those in need. County programs can assist you with food and bills, and you just may need to call a trusted friend to help you get your house back in order.  Your schedule and childcare may be a challenge, but if you don’t take steps to address what is happening in your home and in your heart you will no longer recognize either one of them. Taking these steps will humble you to the point of complete embarrassment, but trust me it is in these experiences that you will grow stronger, smarter, wiser and love more. Your children need you to be whole and they need the security of some order in the house during this unsettling time. When you begin cleaning up your home you will move couches and clean in crevices that haven’t been exposed in years.  The same will be true of your heart. You will begin exposing the real you who hasn’t been seen in years. The end result is a house and heart “just like new.” Hang in there. I have seen beautiful structures built where disaster once was strewn.

Don't Give Up

Do you want to feel better?  Do you want the pain and heartache to go away?  Do you just want some direction or answers?  Here are ten ideas to get you started.  Stop everything and focus on this list in a 24 hour period! 

Focus on #1 and #2 the first 8 hour day....then work through #3-#10 the second day. (If you can get off work for the second day as well; then do it)...If taking off work is simply not an option for you...then you must work through this list on your next two day weekend or your days off. 

Ten Things To Do When Life gets Too Hard

1.  Pray for Direction and Peace...If you don't know how...ask someone who does to pray for you!

2.  Take a day off work and go to lunch, the park or shopping...anything but stay at home...no drinking or going to clubs...just a peaceful day with no responsibilities...maybe catch a movie or visit an attraction close to town...if you have an encouraging friend who is available ask them to join you for the day.

3.  Sit down and make a list of 6 things you would like to accomplish today. (phone calls, errands, purchases, bills paid...anything that is time sensitive)

4.  Schedule an appointment for a facial, manicure or haircut.

5.  Listen to uplifting, upbeat music all day....maybe do a short workout or walk in your neighborhood while listening to your favorite tunes.

6.  Print off a few positive quotes and hang them in the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom.

7.  Put some order into your life: the overwhelming pile of clothes, the cluttered room, closet, garage or cabinets.  Take time to deal with one cluttered area.

8.  Give something away today...a box of things to goodwill, a gift to a friend, flowers at the grocery store, a kind word with a smile...think of something to offer others.

9.  Make something homemade....a  meal, a craft...anything that requires a little time, attention and love.

10.  Take Action on the "Elephant" in your life: the dreaded phone call, the appointment, the confrontation, the confession....one step at a time.

When you are finished....thank God for a little direction and some peace and one more day of life! Remember: This too shall pass, and there are brighter days ahead!  Don't give up!

Don't Lose Love

Wow...I almost didn't write this one today.  I had so many thoughts rolling around in my head. Here are just a few:  love sucks(that may have gotten some attention)....love them or leave them....love of a lifetime....one true love....love never dies....love conquers a multitude of sins....love of money....love/hate relationships....conditional/unconditional love, and....the list goes on.  I'm sure you could add a few of your own titles.

My ideas on love would be pretty one-sided and skewed based on my experiences thus far in life....some amazing and some not so much.  So, I thought since I'm still holding out for another love of a lifetime....what in the world do I say about "love" that would make a difference?  Then it hit me....when I lack knowledge, and I have no answers where do I go?  I go to the Scripture....What does God's word say about love?  It tells us that love never fails....whoever keeps my commandments loves me....love covers all offenses....God's steadfast love endures forever....because He loved us He sent His son to die for us....we ought to love our neighbor as we do our self....and it gives us a blue print for brotherly love and marital love....and then I found it....

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  
I Corinthians 13:13

The dictionary defines faith as complete trust or confidence in someone or something, and hope as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. These are both essential in living a life of peace.  There are so many things we will never understand this side of heaven.  Faith and Hope are what get us up every morning and carry us through difficult times. Why does God tell us love is greater than these two essential components of life?  Look at the definition of love from Webster's Dictionary.

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.^[1] Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".^[2] Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.^[3]



Without love there is no hope or faith. How can we truly live a life of complete confidence or expectation that good will prevail if we don't love in action and deed?  I'm a little teary eyed on this one tonight. There is so much ugliness and so much pain in the world where people selfishly tear apart others.  If just one more person could grasp the love of God and pass it on...then that's two people who understand the love of God.  They pass it on and that's three people... and so on.

The love of God in us is an action. The more we pass it on....the more the message of a life of freedom in Christ is demonstrated to the world!  I don't know about you, but I'm done living a life of selfish love.  I often lose hope, and my faith is sometimes weak; but when you take them away I want to be left with love.  I want to live in the freedom to love others as I want to be loved.

Leave a legacy of love.  Love your children, love your spouse, love your family, love your friends.   Put healthy boundaries around your heart to protect the devil from robbing you of joy.  He can't take God's love from you, but He can stop you from giving it away! 

I will bend but I won't break...

You've often heard, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." When we are going through a tough time we often hate hearing that message because we do feel like we are dying.  In the middle of a tough time there really doesn't seem to be a way out.  We often wonder how long will this last, and will I survive?

Pain associated with things out of our control can seem unbearable to say the least.  Grief over loss of a loved one or unexplained tragedy is on a different level of healing then I am talking about here, but also has some similarities.  If you are experiencing grief of any kind that is causing you depression to the point of interfering with your normal routines, I encourage you to seek help from your Church, counselor or medical doctor.

Strain on relationships, divorce, an extreme workload, difficult children or disappointing teens can cause anyone to "lose it."  When there isn't enough money to pay the bills and work is hard to find, carrying responsibilities alone may send us to a breaking point.  There are counselors and medical help for sure, but I want to give you additional hope!  If you have ever gone on a diet or started working out after long periods of rest or never before...then you have experienced temporary pain for long range benefits.  The last few weeks I've been moaning and complaining over my achy muscles from working out.  Just this morning I noticed I could use less effort to get through my routine, and I might actually be seeing some improvement(a little cheer accepted..lol).  So, I increased my intensity a little.  I can handle more than I could just 3 weeks ago.  Exercising and eating differently does bring temporary discomfort, but knowing what you want the outcome to be....helps you get you closer to your goal, and makes it worth it! 

Take a minute to look at the difficult circumstance you are dealing with in this same way.  You may not know what the end result will be, but you can know that it has to be better than what you are experiencing right now...God does promise us He will not give us more than we can handle...He will walk beside us...and He will provide a way out!  One of my favorite scriptures is I Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."   What a promise! I love it! 

As much as we dislike that little saying at the beginning of this page....it is true....this struggle will make you stronger and instead of killing you, it will provide a platform for you to help others in the future....I read this quote. posted by a friend, on Facebook this morning, "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind..." I'm not sure where it originated from, but it rings some truth.  Being a critical thinker is important to wise decisions and problem solving, but when we worry or lament over our problems we stand in the way of the body healing itself naturally. 


Bending changes things...and change is hard at times, but it is needed to take you to a different place in life.  If you are feeling a little or a lot bent out of shape by all the dysfunction or issues you are facing... remind yourself daily that....You might bend, but you won't break!

Psalm 71:5 says: “For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence.”